John Evans
jevans@alum.mit.edu
Review of M.E.T.A. 1, Chapter 1, Scene 7
"Characterization"

Well, this chapter's pretty good.  It explores the issues raised in the
previous chapter quite well...finds some good explanations, and leaves
things open a bit too.  Good use of facial expressions all through the
chapter, although I personally think there could have been more.

The characterization of Hack is great all the way through.  He has to
leave behind his bar and his friend Carl, and while he goes through and
does what needs to be done, the pain still shows.  That is, it shows in
phrases like "pausing at the door and looking very tired".  Jillian is
also nicely characterized, even though there's not much to her.  A basic
"strong woman trying to survive and help people but doesn't show her
emotions" kind of character.  Almost stereotypical, but that's okay
because it helps the reader get a handle on her character quickly.

However, I think the bit about Drake "considering" her, thinking about
her position and job and stuff, that could be expanded on.

As always, all the comments I make are mostly intended to get you thinking
about areas in your writing that can be improved.  Blindly following my
advice probably won't help you very much...Think about what I'm saying and
why I'm saying, and what other possibilities there are for things you
could write.


M.E.T.A. 1, Scene 8 Review
http://www.chaoseed.com/btr/meta/
9/11/00