Okay, here we go. Continuity: 10/10 This part was practically seamless with respect to the last part. It carried the plot forward in a believable manner, and I could not detect any continuity errors (not that I would expect any from the second part) Future Angles: 6/10 While there were a few angles presented as possible future plots, the last paragraph of the part really nails down where the next author could go with this story. While this probably wouldn't bother me so much in a later part, in the begining I would expect the story to remain a little more open in order to allow for better definition of the plot and setting of the story. As there are indeed more than one angle for future authors to follow, however, the author deserves some credit for setting up a reasonable direction for the plot. Writing Style: 9/10 The author did a very good job of setting up scenes and filling in details. The description of the bar in particular deserves some mention. However, it seems like overall the descriptions were a little too short. This may just be because the descriptions in the last part were very drawn out, but there were also some problems where more descriptive words could have been used to enhance the story. (eg. In the first para: "The list was pretty short and to the point." replace pretty w/ fairly, very, relatively, etc. "pretty" seems like a weak word.) Overall, however, the descriptions were excellant. In Character: N/A I'm not going to rate this as the story is in the beginning stages and theoreticallly everyone should be in character because they haven't been defined yet. I will say that the author did a good job of carrying on the flavor of the two charcters that did carry through. Pacing: 8/10 I feel that the pacing of the story was generally very good. I think, however, that the part was just a touch too fast. Maybe if the author were to add in some more descriptions, as was stated earlier, it would slow down the pace a little. Of course, I may just be thinking this because the part is shorter than what I would normally read in an impro, and that may be making it seem artificially short. Technical: 9/10 I am not going to really review spelling, grammer, etc. except for one comment; put a blank line in between paragraphs. It makes the story easier to read. Overall: 8/10 This story was very well done and if I didn't know better I'd say we have an experienced writer in sheeps clothing. If you sign up for future parts of an "official" impro about the only real suggestions I can offer are to use more descriptive desriptions and make the part a little longer. Excellant job. Isam M.E.T.A. 1, Scene 2 Review http://www.chaoseed.com/btr/meta/ 3/22/00