>To Hell and Back #14 Exposed! By John Evans, jevans@alum.mit.edu >Beware the Radish >http://www.chaoseed.com/btr/ >8/24/01 Treisel stared off into the distance. A warm red glow spread over the sky as the sun set. The horizon jumped and jostled as Treisel was bounced back and forth by the cart's motion. He fixed his eyes on the scene, trying to keep it still. To keep the world from moving. >It's a metaphor, y'see. "Treisel?" The graduate student shook his head. "Yes, Tao?" "Well..." He looked over to see him biting her lip. "Just, did you have any thoughts?" >See, at the end of #13, Tao had been relating to the group everything she >learned in Hell, about her parentage and stuff. Treisel sighed. "It's a strange story. I'm not really sure what to think of it." He glanced at the sunset again. "I'm not sure what to think of a lot of things, now." "Oh, to Hell with that," Iryien snapped. The other two stared at her. "We know what we have to do. We have a Quest, a Destination and Companions. That's all you need for an Adventure!" >This is kind of a satire of the formulaic nature of certain fantasy stories. >Yet, at the same time, it really does apply to this story too... Treisel and Tao exchanged looks. "I think I slept through my one required Adventure class." Treisel smiled weakly. "I placed out of mine," Tao piped up. >I placed out of a lot of classes...I was also probably thinking of an old >Eyebeam (by Sam Hurt) cartoon. "What'd you take, Smartass 311?" "No, I >placed out, remember?" "Uh, yeah." Treisel rubbed his head. "But right now I think it's important to start thinking about things." He sat back and looked at Tao next to him, watching the waning light illuminate her face. "This whole Spellbreaker thing, and the prophecy, and what we saw in Hell..." He shook his head. "It seems like suddenly there's a whole lot more going on. Right?" Tao nodded back at him. He turned to Iryien, and she rolled her eyes and shrugged. >At this point I start putting in some exposition to kind of "normalize" >everything and have it make more sense. ...it's just something I always >feel the need to do when I write impro chapters... "YARP," Iryien said offhandedly. Treisel and Tao stared at her, and she blinked. "Yet Another Random Prophecy? I guess it must be an Adventurer thing." The warrior woman ran a hand through her hair. "There's always an ancient legend, or a myth, or a spell or something. You just have to accept them. Actually I've heard of the Spellbreaker, now that I think about it." "Really?" Treisel blinked as Tao was suddenly on the other side of the cart, staring into Iryien's eyes. "What have you heard?" Iryien herself seemed surprised. "Uh--just that, you know, it was another--random prophecy." She smiled a little, hesitantly, then her expression fell. "I'm sorry, Tao," she said softly. "I just heard about as one of a number of prophecies. You know, a list of unsolved ones. There weren't any details, really..." >Remember that Iryien has a crush on Tao, and thus is always looking to >impress her. "Oh. It's okay." Tao sat back. Treisel looked at Iryien, then frowned. It almost seemed like she--no, it was probably his imagination. "Anyway..." Tao looked to the front of the cart. "Waj? Can you tell us anything about what's been going on?" Treisel followed Tao's gaze and saw the demon staring straight ahead as he held Simon's reins. "Hm," Waj grunted. "I'm not sure. Perhaps." "Perhaps?" Treisel leaned toward Waj. "Waj, you were the one who said I could enroll in Neifllem University. But when we got there--I didn't understand it all, but that demon said you were fired?" Waj scratched his head. "That's about the size of it," he muttered, still not turning to face the others. "Waj, I--" Suddenly Treisel felt a chill. "You can't go back there any more. You're out on your own." The demon turned, then, to look at him. "Yeah. Just like you." Waj's mouth quirked. "Now I understand why you were acting so depressed." >Aside from exposition, this makes sure all the characters are updated about >their various situations. It also makes sure the *authors* know who knows >what in the story. Treisel swallowed. Some little instinct told him things were getting out of hand. He opened his mouth, but Tao spoke up first. "But what about the Spellbreaker?" Waj scratched his chin. "Well, the Spellbreaker is an old demon legend. You have to understand that magic comes naturally to a demon. In fact, it's part of what being a demon is all about." Waj spun his pitchfork idly in his hand while he talked. "So a being that could break spells--well, it sort of frightens us, and at the same time captures our imagination." There was silence for a moment. Then, "Whoa, whoa, wait," Treisel said. "Are you saying there's--what, demon horror writers?" >I like that concept, actually... Waj looked back and raised an eyebrow. "Of course. But we aren't scared of the same things you humans are." As the rest of the party blinked a few times, he continued. "The point is that I don't know much about the Stormbreaker, other than that it's supposed to be able to manipulate magic." "Stormbreaker?" Tao and Iryien said at the same time. Iryien blinked, then laughed. "You go ahead, Tao." "Um, okay." Tao swallowed, her cheeks reddening. "Waj, what's a-- Stormbreaker?" "Oh, just another name for, well, for you, I guess." The demon shrugged. >This explained the use of the term "Stormbreaker" in #13. "Tao," Treisel said, frowning. "What was the name of that place, again? The one your, uh, mother mentioned?" "Hm? Oh--the Latverian Isles." >I wonder how many people realize that Latveria was the country that Dr. Doom >ruled over in the Marvel Comics stories... "I've heard of those too," Iryien said quickly. "In that Legendry class." >Still trying to impress Tao. "Yeah, they're known for--something." Waj's brow furrowed. "Something like a, hm, powerful entity of some kind. A renegade, I think." Treisel rolled his eyes. It figured that going to Hell wouldn't turn out to be the worst of their problems. "That reminds me," Tao said quietly. All eyes turned to her as she looked up. "What about Zeke?" "Oh, yeah. What was up with him, anyway?" Iryien frowned. "He was acting pretty supicious there at the end." Waj sighed. "I--well, I've been thinking." He reached over his shoulder and scratched at his back with the pitchfork. "I've been thinking about this for quite a while. And..." He shook his head and stared at the road. "Zeke was--he wasn't the same guy that I knew all those years ago. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but still..." Waj took a deep breath, then let it out. "I don't know. Maybe he had a whole other plan he didn't tell us about. I just--don't know." They trundled along the road in silence. Treisel sat back against the edge of the cart. Words and images swirled through his mind, with no context or reason to them. Spellbreaker. Latverian Isles. Zeke. Waj. Hell. Demons. Angels. Tao... Everything seemed so much easier when all they had to worry about was going to Hell. >IRONY! ===== High in a tree, some ways off the road, a figure crouched on a branch, watching. He ran his hand through his thin blond hair and squinted his eyes. They'd be his eventually. Not a shred of doubt even considered the possibility of entering his mind. It was only a matter of time... >Assuming I'm remembering correctly, this is Zeke. ===== ------------------------------------- To Hell and Back Chapter 14: Sweets Are Bad For You Begun by Steven Scougall Continued at the moment by John Evans ------------------------------------- >This story hosted by Indie Madnesse, http://indiemadnesse.sandwich.net/ ===== >The reason for the title will become clear later. Waj walked into the inn's common room and smiled as he saw his companions sitting around a table. He strode over, stretching, and sat down between Iryien and Treisel. A good night's sleep had done wonders for Waj; his eternal optimism was reasserting itself. After all, even if he *had* been betrayed by one of his oldest friends, that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy breakfast with his current friends. Right? Right... >And Waj's basic good nature reasserts itself. Not to mention one of the sexiest women above ground. Waj beamed a smile around the table, but especially at Iryien, and said, "So, how's everyone today?" >And his lust for Iryien too. Treisel muttered something. Tao smiled wanly at the demon. "Not bad," Iyrien said, shrugging. She took another swig of ale. Waj's smile dimmed a little...but only a little. "Hm. Quiet this morning. Oh--say, Iryien." The adventuress looked up at him with raised eyebrows. She must be--what was the human phrase? Difficult to get. Yeah. "Do you know anything about this town?" >"hard to get" in other words... "Oh." Iryien smiled, and Waj's heart skipped a beat. He was definitely a lucky demon. "Yes, actually, I learned about it in one of my classes. The town's called Feaw, and it's famous all over the continent for candy." >"Fire Earth Air Water" = "Feaw". It doesn't really have any special >significance to the story, I just thought it'd make for a neat name. "Candy?" Waj noticed Treisel and Tao staring out the corner of his eye, and smiled a bit more. "That's interesting." "Yeah." Iryien nodded. "Some of the most powerful candy in the world is created here." >I was probably thinking of the magical candies from Planescape: Torment at >this point. I wanted something to make the THaB world special and >interesting. And, of course, it had to deal with magic. >And, of course, it's totally absurd. "Really, how splendid." Waj leaned back in his chair. "I've had some experience with different kinds of sugar plants and such, but I've never--" Treisel pushed his chair back and stood up. "See you all later," he muttered." Everyone stared at him. "Uh, Treisel...Where are you off to? If you don't mind me asking," Waj said. The former graduate student shrugged. "Nowhere." He stalked off to the door, opened it, and was gone. Tao slid her chair back and stood as well. "Um, yeah. Bye guys," she said, scurrying off. Waj and Iryien blinked at her. "And where are *you* going?" Iryien snapped. Waj stroked his chin. Iryien sounded upset about something. That couldn't be good. >Note that Waj doesn't know how Iryien feels about Tao... "Well--nowhere," Tao replied, and then she was gone too. Iryien muttered something under her breath and pushed her chair back with a noisy screech. Waj blinked. "You off to, uh, nowhere too?" "Where else?" Iryien replied, rolling her eyes. She stomped off to the door, leaving Waj alone in the Feaw inn. Waj scratched his head idly. Strange, humans were strange. Always under stress, it seemed. Then...a thought percolated through his brain. Iryien mentioned candy...which meant...she wanted some as a gift! Chuckling to himself, Waj stood and walked to the inn's door as well. >And unfortunately he doesn't really understand humans...either that or he >just doesn't have good social skills, period. ===== Treisel kicked at a stone as he walked down the street. It flew off to the side, into an alley. He frowned and kicked at another stone. This one landed in a merchant's fruit cart. Wincing, Treisel walked a bit more quickly down the street. Fortunately it was still early, and none of the few passers-by had seemed to see anything. Treisel rolled his eyes at the world in general and aimed a kick at another stone. His foot came down on top of it and skidded, making him stagger and wave his arms wildly. >I like this paragraph. It really sums up Treisel's character, I think... "You look like a man with problems." Treisel grimaced. One thing after another...He rounded on the voice with an angry retort on his lips--then stopped dead. A woman leaned against the doorway in front of him. She had long, flowing brown hair, twinkling hazel eyes and pure white skin. Her lavender dress seemed almost too sheer to be worn outside of a bedroom. After a moment, Treisel realized that she was staring as intently at him as he must be at her. He felt his cheeks growing warm, and saw a small smile playing about the woman's lips. "Am I right?" she asked. Treisel blinked. "About what?" She laughed, musically. "About your problems." "Oh. Uh..." Treisel took a deep breath, then let it out. "Well, yeah. But--everyone's got problems. Right?" He attempted a jaded expression. >Now watch him try to act smooth... The woman's mouth quirked. "How apt. I have some problems myself. Maybe we could help each other." She pushed away from the doorway and stood straight. "My name is Tawn, by the way." "It suits you," Treisel said. >"suits" referring to her hair being "tawny". However, the real reason I >named her "Tawn"...mix "Tawn" and "Treisel" together and you get "Tron" and >"Teisel". (A Mega Man Legends reference.) The laugh again, soft and musical, but somehow Treisel heard an edge in it. He got the strange feeling that something dark was hidden behind that laugh. Something unknown, perhaps something frightening. It was incredibly alluring... ===== "How much farther?" Rahve and Dr. Bulman simultaneously rolled their eyes. However, neither of them noticed this fact. "Not much farther," Dr. Bulman ground out. "Oh. Okay." Rahve looked over at Genni and saw her teetering back and forth in her saddle, almost but not quite falling out. Strangely, the young woman didn't seem too concerned about the possibility of losing her seat. Or perhaps it wasn't so strange, given her condition. Dr. Bulman rode his horse closer to the private investigator. "I don't know what's gotten into her," he muttered. "She isn't usually like this." Rahve shrugged. "She's drunk." Dr. Bulman stared at her. Rahve stared back. "Didn't you hear me? She's drunk. Hammered. Sloshed. Pissed." "Hey!" Genni called. "I am *not* pissed! I'm just..." She wobbled. "A little annoyed." >That's one of my all-time favorite jokes, and it got used in DG#19 too...I >think I must have heard it *somewhere*, but I can't remember where...^_^; "Oh, by all the gods..." Rahve massaged the bridge of her nose. "I don't believe this." Dr. Bulman shook his head. "I just don't believe it." Rahve, however, could believe it. After riding with Dr. Bulman, she felt like a few herself. "Hey, you got the map?" she asked, trying to get her mind off their companion. "Yeah, sure. Hold on." Dr. Bulman wrestled with a folding scroll that hadn't been folded back up properly. Rahve snatched it from him and shook it out, then studied it. >Why are those maps so hard to refold, anyway?... "Hmmmm," she hmmmmed. "We're almost to Feaw." "That's good, I'm almost out." Genni hiccuped. >Of liquor, of course. ===== "Hey! Tao!" Tao turned, blinking, then her face broke into a smile. "Oh, hi Iryien." Iryien ran up beside Tao, and the two resumed walking down the street. For several moments there was silence. Then, "Tao, um--is everything okay?" Iryien asked, glancing at the other girl. "Oh...I guess." Tao shrugged. "It's just, you know--Treisel. I'm a bit worried about him." "Worried?" Iryien felt her heart starting to pick up, and frowned. It was almost embarassing, the effect this girl had on her... "Yeah. He gets in these--moods sometimes. You know." She laughed softly. "Or, maybe not. I guess you haven't known him as long as I have." "Well, yeah, I haven't." Something had to be wrong--they were nearly alone together and she was *still* talking about that guy? Sure, he wasn't bad looking, but--Iryien took a breath. "Tao?" "Hm?" Tao continued looking off into space. "Did you, um, what happened to that, note? That I gave you?" Iryien tried to will her heart to normal speed. >This is where I forcibly drop the other shoe that was left hanging back in >#12. >That's what I do, I tie up loose ends and stuff. Tao blinked. "What? Oh--That! Ummmm," she rummaged in her pockets. "Oh, here it is. I guess I forgot to read it. I'm sorry." She smiled a bit, and began to open the note. Iryien froze. "But--you don't--I mean, out here--" "Oh, it's okay. Let's see here..." Tao squinted. "Fourteen candles, three blankets, 1 bottle ink, 10 days iron rations..." She trailed off. "Um, what is this? A shopping list?" Tao looked up from the note. "Iryien?" She looked down. "Iron rations are a girl's best friend," Iryien said, her words muffled by virtue of her lying face-down on the ground. >With apologies to Carol Channing... ===== Treisel blinked. "A...BonBon shop?" >Tron, Teisel, BonBons...get it? ^_^; "Why, yes." Tawn smiled. "You must have heard that we're famous for candy here in Feaw." "Uh, yes, actually I did hear that," Treisel said. "But, well--" "You don't like the name?" Tawn laughed softly. "I think it's cute. But the important thing is that the customers like it. It's stood for fine candies for several generations of my family now." Treisel looked around the shop. Racks and racks of miniature confections were visible behind the glass walls of the counter. All the candies were some various shade of brown, but fortunately each rack had a small card on the front with the name of the candy. Almond Ripple, Fudge Joy, Three Pikesmen, Venus' Delight, Starburst Crystals, Thingamabobs...Treisel's mind swam with unfamiliar words. >These are various references to real candy bars. Oh, and "Starburst >Crystals" is a reference to the impro of the same name created by my friend >Ardweden. ^_^ "It's quite a shop," he said. "Quite an incredible shop." "Why, thank you," Tawn purred, leaning over the counter toward him. Treisel swallowed. "But it could be a lot better, if you could just help me." >She leans over the counter to expose her, uh, curves, you see. (At least >Treisel does.) "Me?" Treisel coughed. "I mean, why me?" "Well, you are an accomplished wizard, or at least a trained one. You've hinted as much." Treisel's face fell, but she continued. "You must be out here to get away from something. That's how I see it. And if that's so, you can stay here--Whatever it is, it won't matter to me." She leaned forward a bit further. "You can stay here and help with the...special candies." Treisel forced his brain to work. "Special--you mean magical?" "That's right!" Tawn beamed, straightening up. "I know you'll be a great help. The lowest spells are simple, but as you get more experience I'll share even more with you. And the pay..." She shrugged. "I can't promise much, but the more you learn and help, the more you get. You could even eventually become a--partner." She smiled. "Magic," Treisel murmured. A spellcasting job. What he'd always wanted, really. So much had been going on recently...he could leave all that behind and just have an ordinary, safe job. And he wouldn't have to deal with-- >See, at this point, we kind of tempt Treisel with what he thought he wanted >all along. This makes him realize that he doesn't want it anymore. The bell mounted on the shop's door tinkled gently. Treisel noticed Tawn smile at someone behind him. "Oh, good morning, ladies," she said. Well, the shop already had customers this early in the day. That probably meant it was doing well. >Thus the shop is successful, which just adds to the temptation. "Treisel?" Treisel blinked, and turned around to see Tao and Iryien standing by the door and looking at him. "Uh...hi," he said. Tao looked from him to shopkeeper, and back. "Hi," she replied softly. >Can't you just *feel* the romantic tension? "Oh, do you two know each other?" Tawn put in. "We were just discussing Treisel's new position--" >Read whatever you want into the word "position". ^_^ "No," Treisel said. Soft, but audible. Tawn blinked. "But--" "No," he repeated. His face hardened. "I'm afraid I have other commitments. If you'll excuse me." He bowed stiffly, then turned and walked out the door, the bell tinkling again behind him. There was silence in the shop for several moments. Then Tao blinked and turned to run out the door as well. "Treisel!" After a moment, Iryien shrugged and smiled at Tawn, then followed, rolling her eyes. Tawn listened to the sounds of feet, fading off in the distance. She stared at the door. Her hands clenched. ===== "Treisel!" Tao ran after the former graduate student. "Treisel, what--" Suddenly he turned and looked at her. Tao skidded to a halt, frozen by his expression. "I'm sorry," he said. Tao blinked. "Um," she ummed. >Somehow, I like that. I think it really fits Tao's character. "I just--I don't know. All these things," Treisel waved his arms to apparently encompass the world at large, "I don't know how to deal with them, really. And you, you don't have any trouble at all." Tao swallowed as she felt the intensity of his gaze. "You're so strong, and I just--I don't know. I'm sorry." Treisel finally sighed, and looked down. Tao stared at him for a few moments. Finally, she found her voice. "Treisel, you--you think I'm strong?" She laughed, a little. "Me?" >I think this is an interesting point here. Because Tao really has been >strong and done good things, even though she's been afraid and suffered from >self-doubt. And it was Treisel's sorta lack of morals that started the >whole mess off in the first place. So I think he really does admire her, >which surprises her, because she admires his strength and courage too, even >if he feels unworthy of such things. >All in just a few short paragraphs. ^_^ "Yes." Tao looked up and saw Treisel smiling at her. The smile that always made her feel-- "There you are!" Tao saw Treisel turn and smile. Iryien ran up to them and grinned. "Treisel, you weren't thinking of skipping out on us or anything, were you?" "Me? No, of course not." Treisel laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "We should get back to the inn," Tao said softly. "Make sure Waj hasn't gotten in any trouble." >Tao is really disappointed that Treisel looked away from her as soon as >Iryien showed up. Yet, she understands why. Or she thinks she does. "Hm? Okay, yeah." Treisel blinked. "Tao, are you okay?" "Yes, I'm fine." Tao nodded and quickly turned away. >She's overcome with emotion and afraid she'll break down crying. Then she blinked. "So," Tawn snarled. "You all caught on. Well, this won't be the first time I've taken care of nosy outsiders." The three heroes--er, protagonists stared. "Uh--" Treisel started. >Yeah, I know I use that joke a lot, but... "Enough talk!" Tawn pointed a well-manicured finger. "Your time is up!" She tossed something through the air at them. Something small and beige, but before Tao could focus on it, it turned into a duck and flew away. There was some more silence. Then Iryien drew her sword with a sleek, metallic sound. "I should have known!" she spat. Tao and Treisel looked at Iryien, then at Tawn, then at each other, then back at Iryien. "Known what?" Treisel asked. "That candy shop is just a front!" Iryien pointed her sword at Tawn. "For the manufacture of evil confections!" Tawn put her hand to her mouth and laughed. You know the one. "OOOOOOHOHOHOHOOO!!! You are correct, little girl! And now that you have discerned the secrets of the Toffeea, you must be destroyed!" Tao continued blinking, hoping it would cause the world to make more sense. "What the hell's the Toffeea?" Treisel asked. >It's like the "Mafia", only with toffee...or something. >The whole idea of an organized crime ring based around the manufacture and >distribution of magical candy is, of course, completely absurd. Which is >the whole point. "A secret ring of candy dealers," Iryien replied, not taking her eyes off the shopkeeper. "That's right! And now that you know about us, we can't let you live!" Treisel scratched his head. "Wait, you told us about it first!" >More evidence of the absurdity of the situation. "Silence!" Tawn threw another candy, which turned into a frog. She blinked. >More evidence of Tao's magical aura at work. "Ha!" Iryien laughed scornfully. "Your spells will not work on us!" After a moment, Tawn shrugged. "Well, okay then." About two dozen men appeared from doorways and alleys, swords drawn. "...Well, you can't defeat our swordswoman!" Treisel yelled back. "Right, Iryien?" "Treisel?" Treisel blinked and turned to Iryien. "Yes?" "We Adventurers have a saying. Discretion is the better part of valor." She took off, Tao close behind. Treisel blinked, then quickly followed. "After them!" Tawn yelled. ===== "Waj!" Waj stopped, turned, and smiled. "Ah, there you chaps are, I was getting a bit--" The demon blinked. "Hi Waj we gotta get moving!" Treisel dopplered as he ran by Waj, followed closely by Tao and then Iryien. Waj turned and stared at them. >"dopplered" as in the Doppler Effect, which causes the frequency of waves to >change depending on whether the source is moving towards you or away from >you. The effect can be most easily observed by standing near a road and >listening as the cars zoom by: "NyeeeeeEEOOwwwww..." You can hear the change >in pitch (frequency) as the cars pass you and go from moving toward to moving >away. >...but anyway, back to the story. "There they are!" Waj looked in the direction his companions had come from and saw several burly humans with swords and leather armor approaching at a high rate of speed. Almost without thinking Waj whipped out his pitchfork and smacked the end into the first enemy's chin. Then he caught a sword swing with the tines and kicked another fighter in the stomach, sending him flying backward. At that moment Waj heard a ferocious battle cry from behind him. His head snapped around in time to see Iryien flying through the air, front leg outstretched in a picture-perfect adventuress kick. Waj took a moment to feel regret that Iryien was wearing breeches, and then she produced a meaty thump upon impact with the human whose sword he'd caught. Waj swallowed, and suddenly felt a clench in his stomach. He heard the demons' voices again. 'The fight is all you shall have.' He'd trained to be a farmer...Which involved a certain amount of, well, physical activity, but he'd never wanted to-- >At this point Waj is feeling guilty about beating up humans, and is also >reminded of the terrible curse wrought upon him in #13. The fighters knocked out, Iryien turned to Waj and smiled. "Not bad." Waj grinned back. "Nothing to it!" >Of course, since Iryien seems to approve, that makes him feel all warm and >fuzzy inside. The adventuress turned her head, then looked back at him. "C'mon, we gotta go." Waj nodded and followed her lead. Well, hell. ===== A woman with red hair tossed back a drink, then slammed the glass on the bar top. She exhaled satisfiedly. "Bartender, another," she called. A sound reached her ears from somewhere outside. It was a sound she knew very well. A grin slid onto her face as she recognized it. She reached down to her belt and fingered the red sword in its scabbard. There was a tap on her shoulder. The woman blinked, then turned. Her eyes widened. "W--You!" An eighty-year-old grin looked back at her. "Fancy meeting you here." The man stuck a hand in her face. *BOOM!* >This is the renegade god's agent, the woman with red hair, who was a fairly >blatant ripoff of War from Good Omens...I think her name is supposed to >start with a V or something, but I forget. Anyway...she was going to show >up and "take care of" our heroes, but then Elmunster came in and interfered. >I didn't mean to imply that she was permanently out of the picture, though. >Actually, I haven't read the rest of the chapters, so I don't know how the >other authors took it... ===== Tao stared. "I don't believe this. ...And yet, at the same time, I do." She winced at the sound of an explosion somewhere behind them. >"Good grief, it's a running gag." Treisel cracked the reins again. "Come on! Move it, you dumb ass!" >Bring on the "ass/donkey" jokes! Simon stood his ground. The cart stayed with him. Tao and Treisel, seated on the aforementioned cart, failed to move away from their pursuers. "What the hell is this?" Iryien yelled as she and Waj ran up to them. "Treisel, can't you move your ass?" Tao stared at her. "You know what I mean," the warrior woman snapped. Simon turned his head and gave them a look that said "I may be a donkey, but I know a REAL ass when I see four of them.". Treisel sighed. "I don't know, maybe if we--" >"But we never got to find out what Treisel was about to suggest, because at >that moment..." "HA!" All eyes (except Simon's) turned to the source of the laughter. Tawn had caught up to them. She stood a few meters away, flanked by an entire squad of Toffeea hit men. "You can't run away any longer!" "Treisel, maybe we can--" Tao blinked as Treisel stood up, then got down off the cart. "Um, Treisel? What--" "You want us?" Treisel snapped. "Fine! We're right here!" Tao stared at him. She felt--she felt a lot of things. But she couldn't think about that right now. Right now--she had to help. She got down off the cart and stood next to Treisel. He blinked in surprise, then flashed her a smile, and she smiled back. "Yeah!" Iryien proclaimed, standing next to Tao. Tao sensed Waj standing somewhere nearby too. "Ah, all lined up. Good!" Suddenly Tawn raised her head and--a huge stream of yellowish-brown shot forth. Or actually flowed forth. It impacted with the ground and rolled forward in a wave, surprisingly fast. Tao almost didn't have time to blink before-- "Tao!" Something rammed into her, shoving her out of the way. Tao skidded on the ground. She breathed heavily several times, eyes wide, before realizing that she'd been protected from the worst of the fall by...someone's arms wrapped around her. A warm glow started in Tao's stomach, and she twisted around. "Thank y--" >"Oh, thank you Treisel!" *swoon* Iryien smiled back at her. "Glad to help." After a moment, Tao found her voice. Or at least some of her voice. "Iryien?" she squeaked. "C'mon, get up." The adventuress hoisted Tao to her feet. Tao blinked a few times and looked around, trying to get stock of the situation. Treisel had also thrown himself the ground nearby, and was staring at her with a strange expression. She blushed and rubbed at her clothes, trying to get some of the dirt out. Then her eyes widened. Waj! Where was Waj? She spun around. Waj had been hit full-on by the wave, and was immersed up to his neck in yellowish-brown stuff. "Waj!" Tao cried, running over to him. "Are you--" "Mmmmm." Waj took a bite of the stuff. "I love caramel." Sweatdrops broke out all around. "HA!" rang out again, and again Tao found herself thrust to the ground. She struggled against Iryien's clinging arms. "Let go of me!" Tao cried. Ignoring Iryien's muttered apology, she untangled herself and stood up. >Iryien's awful quick to grab onto Tao, isn't she? Treisel was lying on the ground, struggling in the grip of the sticky substance. "OOOOOOHOHOHOHOOO!!!" Tawn laughed. "Two down! Who's next?" >There it is! The LAUGH! >^_^ Tao stared. She felt like a giant hand was squeezing her stomach. Treisel had been--he turned and gave her a weak smile. "Sorry, Tao." The hand crushed her insides--and then it turned to fire. Tao stood up. Iryien stepped in front of her, sword drawn, but Tao shoved her aside. Across the plaza, Tawn stood. She held up a toffee and it expanded to a dark cloud in front of her. "You BITCH!" Tao screamed. The brown cloud exploded and wrapped itself around Tawn. Ducks and mice bled off it and scurried away as best they could. The Toffeea hit men stared. Then one of them was suddenly engulfed in a cloud of flying hummingbirds. Another yelped and threw down his sword, which was suddenly glowing red. A third began waving his arms around as his armor looked to be three sizes too small. >Okay, here's the thing. See...what I was trying to imply was that Tao's >aura was expanding to cover a large aura, and affecting all the existing >magic nearby. Given that magic is so prevalent in this world, I just kind >of thought that each hitman might have a little trinket...some magic armor, >a magic sword, and so on. So these things got warped by Tao. >Of course, I don't really know how the rest of the authors treated it...I >should probably read the last few chapters of THaB sometime... After a few moments, most of the hit men had left the area. Tao blinked. Iryien walked up behind her. "Wow. Your aura saved us again." "Um," Tao ummed. "I guess. Hooray for me." >And there it is again! She closed her eyes and crumpled to the ground. ===== Iryien looked up as Treisel clumped down the stairs. He smiled. "Well, how do I look?" "Aw. Haven't you ever heard girls go for sweet guys?" She grinned, and he chuckled. The adventuress stole a glance at Tao, sitting next to her. It was too bad Tao hadn't gotten 'candied'. Her mouth watered at the thought... >*lick* "So, Treisel," Tao said. Iryien blinked, reverie interrupted. "Do you have any idea why those spells that woman was casting weren't affected by my aura?" "Well...I've been thinking about that," Treisel said, taking a seat across from the women. "I do have an idea..." He steepled his fingers. >"Damn, I look smooth when I do this." "Well, out with it," Iryien said. Treisel blushed slightly. "Ah, yes. Well, you see...if I just throw a rock or something at Tao, it will still hit her, right? Now that I *would*, of course, but, you know." He rubbed the back of his head. "Because--the rock isn't magic?" Tao blinked. "That makes sense. But she was casting spells, she had to be." "Yes. However..." Treisel sighed. "You tried Dispel Magic on the candy when Waj and I were trapped in it, right?" Iryien stared as Tao nodded assuredly, and frowned. This magic stuff was going over her head. "So the candy itself wasn't magical once the spell created it," Treisel said. >So this was my attempt at extending the idea of Tao's aura a bit and also >putting some limitations on it. "Oh! Hm. I hadn't thought of that." Iryien rolled her eyes. Magicians always seemed to make things more complicated. She'd take a sword any day. Or a swordsman. Or a swordswoman. Or Tao. Iryien sighed as she realized the implications of that train of thought... "Excuse me. Young sir and misses?" Iryien blinked, reverie interrupted again, and turned to see a short, wizened old man smiling at them. "I was wondering if I could have a word." "Sure, old man. What's up?" Iyrien ignored the looks her two companions shot her and waved a hand negligently toward a chair. The old man laughed and sat down. "My name is Epio. I don't mean to intrude, but--" He glanced about the common room of the inn. "I've heard whisperings that you all are traveling to the Latverian Isles." >Okay. The whole point of this is...with #13, it seemed like the whole major >thrust of the story had been completed. Except that there were a lot more >unanswered questions and plot points to deal with. So in a sense we needed >to start the story over. That's why this chapter borrows a fair amount from >#2. In #2 there was a a man named Opie (Epio, Opie, you get the idea) that >gave the group their "postal quest". So now they get a new quest, that will >eventually take them where they want to go. Iryien looked over at Treisel. If he wanted to approve who sat down at their table, then he could handle this too. "Um," Treisel replied. Iryien hid a snicker, but not very well. "I suppose that's true, yes," the former graduate student said. "Splendid." The old man smiled widely. "My name is Epio, and you see, I am an anthropologist." >I believe this may have had something to do with the fact that I had signed >up to take Introduction to Anthropology in the fall semester... Iryien's brow furrowed. "What's that?" "Someone who studies different cultures," Tao piped up. Iryien glanced over and was suddenly struck by the expression on the girl's face. By all the gods, Tao was cute when she was excited... "Yes, that's it exactly," Epio said. "Now, the Latverian Isles are quite remote, and they have a--reputation of sorts." He hunched over the table and rubbed his chin. "I've tried to get expeditions to go there, but nobody seems to be willing." He looked up. "That's where you come in." "Aha," Treisel said. "You want us to escort you there?" "Not quite." The anthropologist smiled weakly. "I'm afraid my health isn't quite what it used to be. But if you could bring back any information about the place, once you get there. Anything at all...I could use it to convince some universities to fund expeditions. At least, that's what I hope." "And you'll pay us?" Iryien said, eyebrows raised. "But of course." Epio beamed. "Aha! Another quest!" Iryien smiled widely. "You've come to the right place, sir." >See, as an Adventurer (Adventuress?), Iryien is always thinking in terms of >quests and such. "Aha," Treisel said weakly. Iryien looked across the table and gave him a smirk. "What is it about the Isles that interests you, sir?" Tao asked, leaning over the table. Iryien took a moment to admire the way her eyes twinkled... "Nothing." Blinks all around. "Nothing?" Treisel asked. "Yes. You see, that's what we know about the Isles. Nothing." Epio smiled. "An incredible opportunity, don't you think?" Iryien grinned. "Sounds good to me! Let's go have us an adventure!" "Yay!" Tao smiled happily. "I don't suppose I get any say in this," Treisel said hesitantly. ===== The entity in the long brown robes chuckled to himself. The woman with white-blonde hair stared at him. "Sir, do you really think everything will be all right? I mean, Valeria failed and--" >That's her name! Valeria. There we go. "It does not matter." He waved a hand negligently. "I have plans upon plans upon plans. Even if they reach their destination--especially if they reach their destination--I shall be victorious." He stood. "And now it is time to see to my subjects, is it not?" The woman bowed, with barely a hint of trembling. "Yes, sir. They await your appearance and words of wisdom." "Good, good." He chuckled. "I know how important my presence is, and always has been, to the Latverian people." He strode out of the throne room, she following close behind. >And now we see that the brown-robes entity is connected to the Latverian >Isles. Which was a pretty obvious plot point, if you think about it, but >it was still necessary to spell it out. ===== To be continued... ===== Author's notes and stuff ...I'm sorry. That's really all I have to say. >I forget what I was apologizing for. Probably because the chapter was late. >And because I really was stuck for inspiration a lot of the time. Without >#2 I would have been lost. Thanks go to Capcom, Matthew Campbell and Ardweden for providing inspiration. >Capcom for Mega Man Legends, Matthew Campbell for #2, and Ardweden...for just >being herself. ^_^ John Evans johne@mit.edu 8/7/00 >Note that this email address is outdated. My current one is up at the top of >the story. ===== "And I would have gotten away with it, too! If it wasn't for those three kids and their pesky demon--" >And this, of course, is a Scooby Doo reference. ^_^ >That's all for that one, then.