>DG #61 Exposed! By John Evans, jevans@alum.mit.edu.

>Beware the Radish
>http://www.chaoseed.com/btr/
>11/22/01

    Ayame took a breath.

>Here comes the run-on sentence!

>I thought I'd get it out of the way.

    "As you might recall, that is, those of you who actually remember that far
back, who are in turn a subset of those who would care enough to read our
story for a full sixty chapters, along with numerous amusing omake and pieces
of fanart, even though you don't read fanart, although I suppose some of you
might have read this chapter without reading the previous installments, which
is really not recommended, but anyway, when last we visited the world of the
heroes known as the Do-Gooders, who are also a rock band, or at least a rock
band and all their friends and associates, and oddly enough there isn't just
one world but at least three and probably more, as you will see, so perhaps it
would be more appropriate to say the worlds of the heroes known as the Do-
Gooders, there was a huge battle raging in Tokyo, a conflict involving such
diverse elements as the Cthulhu Cultists, aided by their entourage of mutated

>(lisping Spanish Inquistor voice) "such diverse elements as fear..."

children's television characters, or perhaps they are actually monsters
mutated into children's television characters, I don't think anyone actually
knows for sure, except possibly Cthulhu himself, and nobody wants to ask him,
the Shub-Niggurath Cult, her loyal cultists led by the strange Aika, who is
apparently actually an ex-wife of the fiendish arch-villain Nemesis
Serendipity Villyn, although he hasn't been all that fiendish recently, he's
actually kind of handsome and cuddly, an army of magical magical girls,
created with eldritch processes from my very own DNA, a procedure which I was
not very appreciative of, to be sure, although Tejina, the poor girl, took it
even harder than I did, though I don't really know why, the youma and
generals provided by the Queen of the Darkverse Charity Darkness Vengeance,
my own opposite number in the whole scheme of things, being leader of the
Darkverse, while I traditionally fill the role of leader of the Crystal City
of Delight Before the Age of Time, although I have been transformed into a
much younger version of myself, which is really rather fun, and thus we've
been butting heads, so to speak, for a while now, even though we have indeed 
agreed to work together for the time being, at least until the coming conflict
is over, and then afterwards I have no doubt that she will take every
opportunity to betray our cause for her own gain, but then that's the way the
cookie crumbles, as it were, this space for rent, and a strangely rampaging

>Your Ad Here

horde of tap-dancing robots, seemingly unaffiliated with any other faction and
fighting according to their own programming, or lack thereof, though I must
confess to a sneaking suspicion that the aforementioned arch-fiendish villain
Nemesis Serendipity Villyn is behind their creation, as they seem kind of his

>She's right, of course.

style, and finally of course there are our own forces, that is, the forces
allied to defend and protect the Earth, consisting of the actual Do-Gooders
team themselves, the assorted relatives and girlfriends thereof, the Sailors
of the Darkverse united under the banner of Matsuro, the One of the Prophecy,
currently incarnated in the form of Grand Duke Midnight, and thus field
commander of all Darkverse forces, or so I've heard, the Harbringers,
legendary distributors of har, who are also protectors of the Earth, led by
god and guardian of the Earth Ryokuryuu, Green Dragon of the Center and Earth,
although for some reason he is currently affecting the name of Aoryuu, why I
don't know, because Ryokuryuu sounds much more noble and dramatic, at least to
my admittedly trained ear, along with some random Champions of various of the
other Five Gods whose eternal conflict rages along the sidelines of history
for millennia, or something of that nature, I'm not really too sure about this
part, and of course there are the advisors and hangers-on and the incarnated
One of the Prophecy, formed of Tejina, Becky, Aki, and the reincarnated spirit
of Yalena, who was the wife of Baron Stagner von Carrlson, leader of the
Kingdom of Obscurity and instigator of this whole mess, as it turns out, who
is most assuredly distinct from the One of the Prophecy that is Matsuro, which
is confusing because having more than one One seems kind of contradictory, but
that's prophecy for you, and this battle, its aftermath, and its long-range
consequences are the subject of the story which you are reading now, this
very moment, these very words as I speak them to you, and in fact this one
particular story is entitled--"

>So in fact the ENTIRE CHAPTER is one long run-on sentence.

>Woo!

=====


                             DO-GOODERS

                   The Proactive Teen Superhero Team
              With No--One--Uh, an X--Oh, the Hell With It

                 A FanArt HQ / Spoof Chase ImproFanfic
                    http://www.improfanfic.com/good/

                Episode Sixty-one (FINAL CHAPTER!):
                THE END!  Or is it just a new beginning?

                  by John Evans (jevans@alum.mit.edu)

                  Do-Gooders started by Stefan Gagne

                        "All good things..."

>Which was the end of the final Star Trek: the Next Generation episode...but
>anyway...

=====

>See, a while ago I realized that...all those plot elements that the other
>authors had carefully closed off? I could bring them back because...Nobody
>ELSE needed to deal with them! This was it, the last chance!

>Soooo...

    "I know that look," Seiryuu commented.
    Genbu turned to her, stroking his greenish beard absently.  "Look?"
    "That look you get when you've figured something out."  She winced as the
duet of Byakko and Suzaku hit a particularly off-key note.  Why Byakko
persisted in pretending he was drunk, she'd never understand.
    "Well..."  Genbu tilted his head and focused his gaze on her.
    "I can tell because you play with your beard whenever you're thinking too
much," Seiryuu noted.  Genbu quickly lowered his hand.  "And that's the look
when you're considering lying to someone," she continued.  "Just save us both
the trouble."  She smiled, just slightly.
    The other deity chuckled.  "You always were too clever for your own good."
Ignoring the glitter in her eyes, he looked off into space.  "I was just
thinking about Aoryuu.  His decision to go back..."
    "Well, it wasn't really *his* decision, was it?" Seiryuu put in.  "He went
back because--"  She stopped as her mind began to process what she was saying.
Because of the world...
    Suddenly Genbu's eyes widened.  He stared past her, gaping.  Seiryuu
quickly spun to face--
    Nothing.  After another moment she spun back, and found only Suzaku and
Byakko (and their karaoke machine).
    Seiryuu closed her eyes.  "I hate when he does that."

>This was just kinda the equivalent of going "Hey! What's that?!?".

    "Seiryuu!"  Suzaku bounced over to her, and the dragon deity realized that
the song had ended.  "Why don't you sing one?"  Suzaku quite literally beamed.
    Seiryuu ignored her to face the last god in the vicinity.  "Byakko, get
sober," she snapped.
    The White Tiger blinked at her.  "Whazzat?"
    "Now!"
    She was rewarded with the sight of Byakko blinking and straightening his
posture.  "What is it now?" he snapped back.  "I was just getting the hang of
being drunk."
     "Listen to me."  She reached out and snagged Byakko by his vest, pulling
his face close to hers.  "Why did Aoryuu go back to the world?"
    Byakko blinked at her.  "Huh?  Because he's god of the world, or
something.  Right?"
    "He's the god of *preserving* the world," she corrected.  "And *why* does
he have to preserve the world?"
    "Well, because Cthulhu and Shub-Niggurath--"  He trailed off, eyes
widening.
    "Are going to *destroy* it.  Exactly."  Seiryuu released him and brushed
off her skirts.  "Then I guess I'll see you down there."  In a flickering
instant, she vanished.
    Suzaku stared from the place Seiryuu had been to the grin slowly building
on Byakko's face.  "Um...ne, what's going on?  Huh, Byakko?"
    Byakko let out a booming laugh.  "How do they put it in those fun little
mortal games...oh, yeah. 'Final Round--FIGHT!'"

>The whole point being...If Aoryuu gets to go back because the world is in
>danger, and he gets to *preserve* it...then there's a chance it'll be
>destroyed, so Byakko gets to destroy it. And Seiryuu gets to destroy/rebirth
>it. And so on and so forth.

=====

    Chiang, Queen Charity, Nemesis Serendipity Villyn, Ayame, Matsuro, Keiko,
Kireiko, Hanaki, Sakyou, Ganno, Hirata, Yoruko, Amanamuro, Yukiko, Koji,
Tetsu, Junko, Jinko, Mariko, Yumeki, Yaki, Hiryuu, Kahi, Villyn's Minions,
Dragon Childe, several Darkverse Generals, Zathras and The One of
the Crystal Kingdom sat in the Villyn household having a snack and discussing
battle strategy.
    Needless to say, it was a little confusing.
    "Okay, um, everyone?"  The One looked around the room.  "Could I have your
attention..."  A sweatdrop appeared on her head.  Where *had* all these people
come from, anyway?  The living room was filled to overflowing, and everyone
seemed to be separating into their own little groups; Harbringers, Sailor-type
people, Minions, Darkverse personages...little clots of warriors semi-mingling
together, often with odd results.

[put humor here]

>This was sort of a note to myself, but...when it got down to the wire, I
>couldn't really think of anything, and besides I'd done the same thing in a
>few other places in the chapter, and...leaving the note like that was kind of
>an interesting joke. At least I thought it was...

    "[EVERYBODY] [SHUT] [UP]!"

>Aki did this a while back in one of the other chapters. Also note that The
>One is sort of a mix of Aki, Becky and Tejina, so that's kind of how she
>acts. At least that's how I tried to write her.

    There was silence.
    The One cleared her throat.  "Okay, good.  Now, we must plan our
strategy."
    "What plan do we need?" Kireiko growled from somewhere in the back.
"Cthulhu and that other big monster want to destroy the world, so we kick
their collective asses instead!"  Encouraging shouts of agreement echoed from
several parts of the room, particularly the Darkverse Sailors.  Kireko rubbed
the back of his head, looking surprised at the reaction, and Hanaki glared at
the one Sailor with the hot pink hair.  A low murmur grew from the rest of the
onlookers.

>That would be Yumeki/Sailor Hatred.

    "It's not that simple," The One said.  And, with something of a shock, she
realized that it really wasn't.  Ancient memories seemed to be welling up
inside her, demanding to be heard.  "It's not just Cthulhu and Shubby-chan,"
she said slowly, brow creasing.  "We can--we *must* repair the damage that was
done so long ago."
    "What damage was that?" Queen Charity asked, frowning.  Her eyes glinted
dangerously.
    The One took a breath.  "The separation of the Crystal Kingdom--the
Earth--and the Darkverse."
    The murmurs ceased as everyone mulled that statement over.  "Wait just a
moment!" Ayame, Keiko and most of the Darkverse Generals said in unison.
    "That's right," The One cut in.  "We must merge the two worlds again.  I
don't think it'll be too, uh, earth-shattering--"  She paused to let her
thoughts sort themselves out.  The Emblem felt warm in her hands, as the Icon
glowed in the hands of Ganno and the Banner gleamed darkly, slung over
Matsuro's shoulder.  "They'll still be separate, kind of, but they'll be the
same, too.  I think."  She frowned and shook her head.  So many ideas running
through her head--so many perspectives on the situation.  "But Cthulhu and
Shub-Niggurath are the most important threat for now.  If either of them gets
loose from the Earth, the consequences would be catastrophic."  That had to be
Becky analyzing the situation, with Aki's worried concern for the danger.  Yet
it wasn't like there was a sense of four minds in one body--she truly was The
One.

>Okay, this was sort of me pushing the plot to set up everything I wanted to
>do. I admit it.

    "What about the Baron?" someone asked.  The One blinked and shook herself
out of her reverie to see everyone looking at one of the Harbringers.
Amanamuro, it looked like.  He shrank back from the scrutiny, but continued on
stubbornly.  "Wasn't he the one who was behind all of this?"
    "Yes, you're quite correct, Hajime-kun."  He shot her a look of gratitude
and relief that almost made her giggle.  "The Baron has been manipulating
events for a while.  I guess he wants to get back at the worlds that trapped
his wife with the Dark Gem--"  Suddenly an amazing notion struck her, and her
eyes widened.  "The Dark Gem, that I can now retrieve," she whispered.
    "Hm?  What was that?" Chiang murmured, stepping up beside her.  She turned
to face him.
    "That's it, isn't it," The One continued on.  "We retrieve the Gem, and
can reunite the worlds--"
    "Wait!"  The Queen strode up to them and planted her hands on her hips.
"If this Gem is as powerful as legends say, maybe you shouldn't be the one to
possess it."  Her eyes narrowed, and a confused babble of voices rose up.
    The One felt all the emotion of her merged personalities swelling up, and
grit her teeth.  She opened her mouth, but Chiang spoke first.  "There is a
saying," he mused, his raspy voice somehow cutting through the noise.  "Those
who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  Perhaps you've heard
it, Your Majesty?"
    "Now listen here," Villyn said, appearing at the Queen's shoulder.  His
Minions arranged themselves behind him, and The One suddenly felt the
Harbringers standing behind her, opposite the would-be evil overlord.  "You
shall not talk to the Queen that way!"  The One noticed the Queen's face
heating at the comment, and had to smile.
    "I meant no disrespect, sir," Chiang replied, smiling.  "I respect the
Queen as much as her forerunners in the time before the Crystal Kingdom and
Darkverse, who made the same mistake she proposes to make."

>...those forerunners which caused this whole mess in the first place, as it
>were.

    More voices were raised; Tomoe Hirata, the Harbringer, arguing loudly,
opposed by Sailor Light, seemingly caught by a surge of patriotism for the
Darkverse.  Yoruko and Keiko, oddly, were teaming up to browbeat a few of
Villyn's Minions; except for T-kun, who was arguing heatedly with Koji.
Zathras and Dragon Childe and the Generals and the Sailors, all at one
another's throats, with not much space between figurative and literal.  And in
the center of it all--
    "Daddy," The One whispered.  Villyn, looking at her, blinked and stared.
The talk around them faded out.  "Can't you trust me?" The One asked.
    Villyn coughed and looked around.  "Well, I...I mean..."
    "I still remember all the things you did for me," she continued.  "I still
remember the picnics, the birthday parties, the toddler seat you put on the
back of your armor to give me rides, the toy monster collection, the
application to Dark Heart High, all those times you cooked for me..."  She
paused and wiped at her eyes.  Sniffles could be heard among those in the
room.  "All I want, all any of us wanted, was to have everyone be happy.  Just
trust us to do that...please?"

>Dark Heart High of course being another ImproFanfic...

    The One looked around the room.  Villyn looked definitely embarrassed, and
the Queen appeared a little shamefaced as well.  The Darkverse Generals were
glancing around the room nervously, except for two who were snuggling.  Keiko
and Ayame were both smiling at her, along with the Harbringers (most of them,
anyway).  Zathras gave Koji a spontaneous hug.

>The switch from near-fighting to love-in was supposed to be humorous in its
>speed.

    "Well."  Queen Charity cleared her throat.  "I suppose if we're going to
save the world...if we're going to save the *worlds*, then we need a battle
plan."
    "If I may?"  One of the Darkverse Generals stepped forward.  His uniform

>It's Vuudu!

was embroidered with quite a few arcane-looking symbols.  "Sending a force to
the Kingdom of Obscurity is important, but will not require much firepower.
Most of our forces should concentrate on," he took a moment to glance at what
appeared to be a playing card, "minimizing the damage that Cthulhu and
Shubby-chan do to the worlds."  An androgynous-looking General sighed and
glomped the first one, prompting a blush.

>And Malaise!

    The One sweatdropped, just a little.  "Good point, uh, General.  Good
points all around."  She frowned.  "It just remains to decide who will go
where."
    "We want to fight demons!" one of the ofuda launcher-toting priestesses
piped up.  (Even with the metaphysical abilities of The One, it was still hard
to tell them apart.)
    "Yeah, and I got a score to settle with Cthulhu," Kireiko growled, flexing
his muscles.  Hanaki blushed and fanned herself as she watched.  The One felt
yet another sweatdrop appear on her head.
    "We understand that a certain...Yoi Maeda has something to do with this
Shub-Niggurath problem," Queen Charity put in.  "We of the Darkverse would
like to take care of it."  (Several of the Darkverse Generals muttered
something The One couldn't quite catch, but she didn't think it was too hard
to figure out.)
    Villyn stepped forward again, his armor gleaming resplendently.  "And I
shall use my special outer god-nullifying interdimensional transporter and
vacuum apparatus!  HAHAHAHAAA!!!"  There was much rolling of eyes and
clutching of ears (except for Queen Charity, who seemed to positively glow
with pride).
    "And we Harbringers have a few tricks that will be very useful in the
battle," Ganno put in.  As Sakyou opened his mouth, the elder Harbringer
rolled his eyes.  "Although they would also be useful to escort you to the
Kingdom of Obscurity."
    The One smiled.  She almost couldn't believe it, but people were getting
along.  There was actual trust in the room, sort of, and a fair amount of
camaraderie as well.  Perhaps it was destiny, or perhaps it was just luck, but
she suddenly had a feeling everything would turn out okay.
    "Why are we bothering?  We're all going to die anyway."
    The One sighed.  "Thank you for that insight, Sailor Despair."  She
frowned, and glanced around the room.  "Hey, has anyone seen Hanaki?  Or
Kireiko?  Or Yukiko, or..."

=====

>Okay, now we go through and see how each of the Five Gods' followers are
>dealing with stuff.

    The old priest stroked the green stubble on his chin and squinted up at
the sky from under his wide straw hat.
    Another, brown-haired priest shifted the large pack on his back and peered
at the first.  "So?"
    After a moment, Tsuriai nodded.  "Best get on with it.  You have the
cards, Senki?"  Senki nodded and held up a ragged deck.  "The scribe first,
then."  He went back to studying the sky, idly shaking his rune-covered staff
to hear the metal rings at the tip chime.

>These cards are supposed to be the Trumps from Roger Zelazny's series. I just
>put them in because I wanted Genbu's Champions to have something cool and
>relatively unique they could do.

    Senki pulled the cards out of their box and began to shuffle through them.
He pulled one out and held it up; the front displayed a portrait of a man with
a ponytail bent over an artist's desk.  As they watched, the picture shifted,
colors deepening and moving.  The man looked up from his work and turned to
stare out of the card with wide eyes made larger by thick glasses.

>Okay, this guy is never named until the very end of the story. I'll talk more
>about him then.

    "It is time," Tsuriai said.  "Come through."  There was a shimmering in
the air, and the man materialized in front of them, holding Senki's hand.  He
blinked and put a pen behind his ear.
    "Uh, listen, I know it's important, but I need to finish up this issue,"
he said, "and--"

>He's a manga artist, see.

    "Sorry."  Tsuriai's mouth quirked as he shuffled through the cards again.
"I would love to let you get on with your work of creation, but the end of the
world is approaching."  A short, wide-eyed, camouflaged person with an
absolutely huge backpack appeared next to him, and the first man shifted to
make room.
    "Senki-san!  Tsuriai-san!" the Quake Camper squeaked.  "Wow, I didn't know
you could do this!  But I have to be with Villyn and the rest!  Is it
important?  Everyone else says it's important too!"  He shifted his Rocket
Launcher of Duality from hand to hand.
    "Worry not, my friend," Tsuriai smiled.  "This is important, but will only
take a few moments.  Ah, and I see we have our final member."  A swirl of pure
white light coalesced into the form of Yukiko, blinking at the gathered men.
    "I thought you said there were supposed to be six," the man with glasses
put in.
    "Yes, actually I received word that--not everything has been arranged
yet," Tsuriai replied.  He hefted a bundle of cloth.  "It's complicated, I
didn't quite understand it all, but I must give this to the final member when
I meet him or her.  Or it, I suppose."  He shook his head.  Being cryptic was
part of the 'wise priest' job description, but sometimes he found it hard, no
matter how important Genbu said it was...
    "Is that--"  Yukiko bit her lip.  "A Weapon of Duality?"

>See, the point here is that Yukiko was kinda implied as being one of Genbu's
>champions in an earlier chapter (one of mine), but...she didn't have a
>Weapon or Object of Duality. I kinda thought I would write a scene later
>where she got one (and maybe resolve that triangle with Becky and Koji), but,
>well...

    Tsuriai noticed the disappointment on her face, as it always appeared when
the subject of the Weapons of Duality came up.  He coughed, then smiled at her
in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.  "Don't worry, Yukiko-kun.  I know
you have the potential.  The opportunity will come when you least expect it."

>See? ^_^;

    "So...what's going on?" the Camper asked, looking from one priest to the
other.  "Are we supposed to fight on behalf of Genbu?  I want to help, but I
can't go against Villyn-sama..."
    "I know, Camper," Tsuriai replied, nodding.  "From what has been revealed
to me, we are to strive to enlighten the world and defend the innocent."
    "That sounds great!" Yukiko piped up.  "In fact, it was what we were all
going to do anyway, pretty much."  She smiled, and he returned the smile.  Ah,
the idealistic exuberance of youth.
    "Yeah, I guess," the Camper muttered.  Tsuriai had to chuckle.
    "Is that it?" the ponytailed artist asked.  "I mean, I really--"
    "Actually, you're coming with us," Tsuriai said.  The man groaned.  "It's
your job to chronicle the end of the world."  He stopped groaning and looked
thoughtful.  "You see, many years ago, many *millennia* ago, there was one
world."  A lecturing tone entered his voice.  "But then there was a terrible
accident, and a dark power was misused to split the worlds apart, to split the
Darkverse off from the Earth."  The priest couldn't keep a note of wistfulness
out of his voice; he'd been away from home a long time, after all...

>There are a couple of points here. First, each faction has their own view of
>the splitting apart of worlds. If you compare and contrast them, you should
>theoretically get a better understanding of what happened.

>Second, Tsuriai used to be a Darkverse youma until he was purified by Aki's
>Joyful Cleansing Light.

    The others digested this for a moment.  "I went to the Darkverse once,"
the Quake Camper said.  "It was dark, and drab--it almost seemed dead!"
    Tsuriai nodded.  "You speak more truth than you know, I think."

>This ties in with the Darvkerse being the world of the dead and stuff.

    "So--wait," Yukiko said slowly.  "We have something to do with this...uh,
accident?  I thought it was a big war."
    "And war is usually premeditated," the artist put in.
    "Well, I can only interpret the histories and legends from my own
perspective," Tsuriai admitted.  "But we do have something to do with the
current situation, and hopefully making it better.  Unfortunately, I can tell
you all little more than that."  There was another moment of mulling-over.
    "And there *is* one more thing," Senki put in, the low rumble of his voice
making the others jump.
    "Ah, yes," Tsuriai said.  "Basically, we need a name.  Seiryuu's champions
are the Seals, and Suzaku's the Masons, and so on--we need a name."  This was
it.  Somehow, this was the part of the job he'd been looking forward to the
most.  "We champions of Genbu shall be known as...the Balancers!"
    There was silence for a moment.
    "Sounds kind of..." Yukiko started.
    "Dumb," the ponytailed man finished.  "Like a lame manga.  Or someone's
attempt to create a coalition of extraterrene entities as a way to bludgeon
the plot of a collaborative web-fiction effort into a shape he desired."

>This is a sort of dig at myself, regarding MGH...since I was the one who
>'created' the whole Balancers thing, sort of...eheh...

    "Yeah," the Camper said.  "Can't you think of something better?"
    Tsuriai deflated.
    "End of the world," the man continued, frowning.  "That might make a good
manga."
    "It's been done," Yukiko replied.

>X, among other things...

=====

    And somewhere, the Void Spirits were still stuck in their ball, as they
probably would be for all eternity, and most likely beyond.

>I tried to mention all the characters.

>ALL the characters.

=====

>I had this other scene where Yoshimichi was depressed and watching the
>battle, but then received the Prophecies and was happy.

>But then I realized that it didn't add anything to the story, so I took it
>out. Of course, then there really wasn't any view of the magical girl clones
>building the Seals symbol, which I really wanted to put in...

    "I've gathered you here today to talk about the end of the world."
Yoshimichi's voice was resonant as he paced back and forth across the rooftop.
    Hasami rolled her eyes.  "Everything is already over with, yes?" she said.
"Gods declare truce, no more Seals, no fight, no nothing."
    "Aha!"  He spun on her, pointing at nothing in particular, eyes gleaming.
"But *that's* where you're wrong!  The false apocalypse, or as the legends
refer to it, 'Fakepocalypse', is over with, but the REAL one is just
starting!"
    "'Fakepocalypse'?" Hanko asked, frowning.
    "He made that up," Daichi assured her.
    Yoshimichi spun and glared at them (at least he probably did, it was hard
to tell behind his sunglasses).  "Nevertheless," he said loudly, "we now have
a part to play in the...events to come."  He smiled.  "We must oversee the
destruction and rebirth of the two worlds, and guide them to a satisfactory
conclusion."
    Daichi looked around the rooftop.  Hasami and Hanko looked skeptical in
their respective feminine ways; Gary was eating an orange and T-kun looked
nervous.  He looked back to Yoshimichi.  "Come on, Yoshimichi, why bring this
up now?" he asked, sounding more or less patient.  "We all heard about the
fake prophecies, about our powers stopping working."

>Gary was eating an orange in another chapter. I never really understood Gary,
>but at least he added a weird sort of humor.

    "But you got up here," Yoshimichi replied, his grin smug.  "And you can
still access Tel'aran'rhiod."

>Tel'aran'rhiod is from Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series, which I've been
>working my way through recently. It's not exactly the same, but it doesn't
>need to be anyway. Consider the 'dream world' the 'DG version' of
>Tel'aran'rhiod.

    "Tel'what?" Hanko asked incredulously.  Hasami frowned, and T-kun coughed.
    "The dream world.  That's what the New Prophecies call it."  He waved his
palmtop computer.
    Gary swallowed an orange section and nodded.  "He's right, I was able to
get there today."

>So the Seals have their powers back.

    "Wait, wait, wait," Daichi said, standing up.  "You got the Prophecies
back?"
    "Nope, I got new ones," Yoshimichi grinned.
    Daichi raised an eyebrow.  "Do they say anything about why the previous
ones were fake?"  Yoshimichi pressed a few keys and held the device up.  A
long hypertext document opened, cheerful blue hyperlinks highlighting
important areas and providing links for further research.  Daichi blinked and
leaned over to read it.  "...Mystical Destinies' data files were corrupted,"
he muttered.  "We apologize for any inconvenience...the hell?"

>The 'cheerful blue hyperlinks' bit was really the only thing I used from that
>earlier scene. If I had included that scene, this bit wouldn't really have
>been a surprise. But then, I think it *works* as a surprise.

    "See, the Prophecies have an answer for everything!" Yoshimichi
proclaimed.
    Hanko stepped forward.  "Then what do they say our purpose is now?" she
asked, looking steadily at the other Seal.  Daichi frowned at her, but said
nothing.  Yoshimichi met her gaze with another grin.
    "We must break the shell of the world, to bring the world revolution."

>This is a reference to Revolutionary Girl Utena, which features Utena, a
>girl, dressing up in a boy's school uniform.

    They all digested this for a moment.
    "Why do I suddenly feel like wearing a girls' school uniform?" Gary asked.
    "You always feel like that," Hasami replied.
    "Oh, yeah."  Gary's eyes drifted over to Hanko.  At her glare, they
snapped back to Yoshimichi, who sweatdropped.

=====

    Karen tapped a final key on her computer, and sighed.  "Well, I'm glad at
least THAT bit's straightened out."  She shook her head.  "There are too many
prophecies around here for anyone's good."
    "Ist time yet?" a Valkyrie asked.

=====

    And somewhere, Balin and Dalin shuddered.

>More minor characters to mention...I wanted to have the Valkyries battle
>something, but...*shrug*

=====

    "Hiiii all!"  Suzaku bounced into the Masons' hideout.
    Haruka rolled her eyes.  Nanami spared her a glare, then bowed deeply to
her goddess.  "Oh great Suzaku-sama," she intoned.
    "Yes?" Suzaku smiled.
    Nanami stared into Suzaku's wide, innocent eyes.  Haruka snickered,
swirling the cubes of ice in her drink.  Nanami shot her another glare, then
cleared her throat.  "Oh great Suzaku-sama, please lend us your guidance."
    "Sure!  That's why I'm here!"  Suzaku bounced past the female Masons.
    Nanami blinked and turned.  "It is?"
    "That's right.  Heyyyyy everybody!  Everybody come on over here!"  She
clapped her hands, smiling.  Kensuke popped up from somewhere after a moment,
and Amano walked in from another room, looming over the dimunitive goddess
(who jumped when she turned around and noticed him).  Sansuke and another guy
came out of the bath, talking together.  Suzaku noticed them and blinked.
"Hey!  Who's that?"
    Sansuke looked to her.  "Oh, hey there Suzaku-sama.  This is Dan Forden,
he came by to talk to Tetsu."  The other man nodded amiably.

>Really obscure joke here. See, if you've ever played Mortal Kombat II, you
>might have seen some guy pop onto the screen and go "TOASTY!" when one of the
>fighters used an uppercut on the other. That's Dan Forden, the Midway sound
>engineer.

>The other half of the joke is that Tetsu likes taking baths, which make him
>nice and toasty. This is a Suikoden II thing.

>...so only someone who knows a lot about Mortal Kombat II and Suikoden II
>would actually get it.

>Oh well. ^_^;

    Nanami drew herself up.  "The Mason facilities are only to be used by--"
    "It's nice to meet you, Dan.  Dan Dan the Man," Suzaku smiled cheerily.
"But we hafta talk about private stuff now, so you should be going."
    "Okay, no problem.  Nice meeting you all."  He waved and slipped out the
front door.
    Nanami breathed deeply several times.  Then she scowled at Haruka.  "And
what do *you* think is so funny?" she snapped.
    Haruka wiped her eyes, chuckling.  "Nothing, nothing," she replied.
    "a-HEM!"  Nanami and Haruka quickly assembled before Suzaku with the other
Masons.  The phoenix goddess looked around, walked over to the TV, hopped up
on it and smiled at them.
    "Now," she said, face turning serious (but still cute), "the end of the
World is coming."
    Nanami's jaw dropped.  Kensuke glanced around nervously.  Sansuke and
Amano exchanged looks.  Haruka took a swig of her drink.  "What, now?" Nanami
asked.
    "Yeah, I'm afraid so."  Suzaku sighed heavily.  "It's too bad, too."  She
looked around.  "I was really getting attached to the place.
    Nanami and Haruka exchanged wondering looks.  "Isn't there anything we
can, uh, do?" Nanami asked, gripping the handle of her Hammer of Duality.
    Suzaku tugged on her hair.  "Maybe.  I dunno.  We're supposed to work on
fixing the world, not preventing it from being broken."  She shook her head.
"Things are pretty wacky out there."
    "Wacky?" Kensuke muttered.
    "Yeah."  Suzaku frowned.  "See, a long long time ago...Byakko and Seiryuu
decided to team up for a bit.  And their Champions, along with a bunch of
other mean and nasty people, managed to split apart the Earth into the Earth
and the Darkverse."

>Suzaku casts the worlds-splitting-apart as a spat between her friends.

    Nanami's eyes bulged.  Haruka raised an eyebrow.  "I guess she really
*does* know the secrets of the universe," she murmured.
    "The Darkverse?" Sansuke asked weakly.
    "Yeah.  So now it's our job to make it all better."  Suzaku beamed.  The
Masons could feel the yummy light beating on their faces.

>This is a quick MGH reference, of course.

    Nanami was the first to recover.  "As you command, uh, Great Suzaku-sama,"
she said.
    Amano raised a hand.
    Suzaku looked up (way up) at her Champion.  "Yes, Amano?"
    "Just us, Suzaku-sama?" his voice floated down.
    "Hmmm.  It does seem like a big job, doesn't it?"  Suzaku tapped her chin,
then suddenly smiled and jumped down from the TV.  "I know!"
    "Oh god, what?" Haruka muttered.
    Suzaku wagged a finger at her.  "That's godDESS!" she grinned.  "And I
know what to do!  I'll get AORYUU to help!"

=====

    Kireiko, Hanaki, Jinko and Junko all appeared in an out-of-the-way alley
in a flash of light.  All were surprised, but all quickly got into combat
position and oriented on the other occupant of the alley.
    "HA HA HA HAAA!" Byakko laughed.  "Finally, my Champions are gathered, in
order to bring destruction to all that exists!"
    "Dude, can't it wait?" Kireiko asked.  "We need to, like, go save the
world."
    Byakko glowered.  He opened his mouth, but Jinko spoke up (or was it
Junko?).  "I thought there were supposed to be six champions!" she said,
peering around suspiciously.
    Byakko coughed.  "Quite right, my Champion," he rumbled.  "The other two
hadn't quite awakened yet, so they're a little more difficult to find."  He
closed his eyes for a moment, and exhaled mightily.  "Ah, here we go.  And now
you will truly be complete!"  The tiger god suddenly roared, and even Kireiko
backed up a step (to protect Hanaki, of course).  A pillar of white light
blazed up from the street, filling the vision of all present.  After several
seconds of squinting, the light dimmed slightly, and then faded to reveal...
    Two men with clipboards, gaping.
    "Coach!" Kireiko said in surprise.
    The older man swallowed.  "Uh--Kireiko!  Hey there, kiddo.  We were just
counting, uh--"  The assistant coach furtively dropped a bag behind him and
nudged it behind a trash can, endeavoring to look innocent.  "I mean, we were
just going over the plays for the new season."  He blinked and held up his
clipboard.  "What are all these weird symbols?"
    Byakko finally sagged.  "I need a drink."

>It's the coach and assistant coach who, last we saw, were planning some sort
>of crimes to finance the school football team.

>Believe it or not.

=====

    T-kun looked over the edge of the roof, then swallowed and moved back
quickly.
    He'd said his goodbyes to the rest of the Seals, watching them bound away
over the rooftops.  And he hadn't felt confident enough to tell them he didn't
know that particular trick.  Getting to the rooftop, warping to a gathering of
his fellow Seals, that wasn't incredibly difficult.  But getting back to
somewhere he'd only been a couple of times...
    And he *really* didn't like heights...

>I'd just played Ico, which is very good at making you feel like you're in the
>action. So good that it made my fear of heights act up.

    "T-kun!"
    "Gaah!"  T-kun jumped back and pressed himself against a chimney.  He then
exhaled as he recognized Hanko.  "Um, Hanko-san.  Hi there," he managed.
    Hanko swallowed.  "I didn't mean to scare you," she said.  "I mean..."
She trailed off, then looked at the edge of the roof, then looked back at him.
A soft smile brought color to his cheeks.  "You can't get down, can you?"
    Mutely, he shook his head.
    "Aw, it's okay.  It took me a few times anyway."  She smiled ruefully.
"We practice in the dream world, and make the ground soft, so you don't, you
know."
    T-kun coughed.  "I see," he said weakly.

>This is a small reference to The Matrix, where Neo goes into a simulation of
>the Matrix and manages to fall off a building. Fortunately, this was only the
>training exercise, and they made the ground soft so he didn't die.

    "Don't worry, I can get you wherever you want."
    "Ah.  Um, thanks, Hanko-san."  T-kun blinked.  Now her smile seemed--sad?
"Hanko-san, is something...well..."
    "T-kun, I--"  She turned to look out at the city, reaching up to brush her
pink hair back.  He was startled by the sudden beauty of the motion.  "I've
been thinking."
    T-kun swallowed.  "Uh, yes?"
    Her eyes slipped toward him, then moved back to the city.  "I've been
thinking about the Seals, and destroying the world, and..."  She spun to face
him.  "You hang around with a bunch of people who--aren't like the Seals,
don't you?  Who aren't like Hasami and Gary?"  She grimaced.  "Who are--more
like you?"
    T-kun stopped on the verge of nodding.  Like him?  "Um, I'm not sure--I
mean, I guess so," he managed.  "They all--well, they're going to save the
world and everyone.  Or try to."  He rubbed the back of his head.
    Hanko took a step toward him.  He looked up and found himself gazing into
her eyes, fascinated by the pools of color.  "Do you think--they would mind if
I, well, came along?"  She looked down.  "I would rather be a--a whatever,
than a Seal."
    T-kun gaped.  Then, after a moment, he closed his mouth.  Actually, in the
big ledger of his life, hanging around the other Seals wouldn't get entered in
the 'fun' column.  And she'd spent a lot more time with them..."I think it
would be fine," he said.  "There's so many people, who'd notice one more?"
He rolled his eyes, and smiled.  "If worse comes to worst, you can always be
one of Villyn-sama's Minions.  I don't think he'd mind."
    She giggled, a sound that somehow instantly filled him with warmth.
"Thank you, T-kun."  She looked into his eyes and smiled.  "Thank you."
    "Oh, it's no problem at all," he replied, smiling back.  Reaching out to
take her hand, he felt for the weave of reality around him.  "Come on, I'll
introduce you to everyone."
    They had appeared in the Villyn household's yard before he remembered his
hesitation to attempt another warp.  Specifically, in a tree in the yard, on a
branch several meters high.

=====

    "Please?"
    "No."
    "Pleeease?"
    "I said no, Suzaku!"
    "PLEEEEEEEEEEEEZE???"
    Aoryuu sighed.  "They never told me intra-pantheon conflicts would be like
THIS in Deity School," he muttered.

>I don't exactly know why I put this in here. Just because it was funny, I
>guess.

=====

    -And now for the portal to the Kingdom of Obscurity-
    "I can take care of that," Chiang said, stepping forward.
    Matsuro looked around.  Everyone was assembled around them.  He really
hadn't been keeping track, but a *lot* of people (beings) had managed to
gather around them.  It was really quite something.  Not that he really cared,
but some were...important.  He looked at The One, The One that wasn't the One
that *he* was, or something.  She was definitely important.  Then Matsuro felt
a hand squeeze his, and he squeezed back.  He looked down to see Keiko looking
back at him.  Keiko was important too.  He realized that he couldn't remember
when she had begun to become important, but she certainly was now.
    "Uh..."
    Matsuro looked over at Chiang.  The elderly advisor was sweating.
    "C'mon, old man!" Kireiko called.  "Let's get this started!"  A ragged
cheer went up from the more militant members gathered around him.
    "I'm, uh--"  Chiang rubbed the back of his sleeve against his bushy
eyebrows.  "There seems to be a problem."
    "What *kind* of problem?" Hirata asked, gripping her Sword tightly.
    "Someone has blocked access to the Kingdom of Obscurity," Chiang replied.
    "The Baron."  Matsuro turned to see The One looking pensive.  "He must
have anticipated this strategy.  ...It *is* kind of obvious, though, isn't
it?"

>This was Arisu's doing, as seen last chapter, I think.

    Mariko snorted.  "So much for all that happy reuniting-the-worlds crap."
Murmurs of conversation broke out among the assembled masses.
    Matsuro sighed.  "Is there any way we can breach the barrier?" he asked.
Suddenly there was a green flash of light, and Aoryuu appeared (in human form)
along with Suzaku, Kireiko, Hanaki, Yukiko, a couple of priests, the Quake
Camper and a bunch of people carrying tools, not to mention the school
football coach.  How odd.  "Aoryuu, know how to breach the barrier to the
Kingdom of Obscurity?" he asked again, and harvested a few 'You're weird'
looks from the crowd.

>All the people that had been consulting with the various Five Gods. The manga
>artist guy is in there too, but Matsuro doesn't notice him.

    "Hm," Aoryuu hmed.  "The blocking is being done from somewhere in
Tel'aran'rhiod.  It doesn't feel like the Baron himself, probably an ally of
his instead."  He tapped his chin.  "Something familiar about that
resonance..."

>Arisu's pyramid realm is in Tel'aran'rhiod.

    "Tel'aran'rhiod?" Chiang asked.  "I've heard of that realm, but I don't
know how to get there--"
    "We can do it."  Matsuro turned to see one of Villyn's Minions walk
forward, accompanied by a girl with pink hair.  A Seal, he remembered.  The
Minion (whose name began with T, Matsuro recalled, though he couldn't remember
anything else) looked suddenly nervous at all the attention, but pressed on.
"The Seals go there a lot, although we just call it the dream world," he said.
    "I remember," Matsuro said, eyes narrowing.  He *did* remember, being
kidnapped by a Seal along with Tejina.  Matsuro noticed the Seal-girl giving
him a measured glance, which he returned coolly.
    "Then I suggest a change in plans," Chiang cut in.  All eyes turned to
him.  "T-kun, Hanko, and whoever else shall venture into Tel'aran'rhiod and
confront whomever is behind this barrier.  The One," he nodded to her, "and
her escort, shall stay here in relative safety, awaiting the opportunity to
strike at the Kingdom of Obscurity.  And, well, everyone else--"
    "Will go kick some ass!" Kireiko yelled, waving his arms.
    Chiang coughed.  "Basically, yes."
    Matsuro nodded.  "Okay, everyone have their har sunglasses to protect
themselves?"  There were affirmative murmurs all around.

>It's the return of the har sunglasses.

    "Wait, we didn't get any!" Hanaki piped up.  Several of the other
newcomers spoke up as well.  Matsuro rolled his eyes; he didn't feel like
trying to keep track of all the other combatants any longer.
    "Sorry," Sakyou said, a sweatdrop breaking out on his forehead.  "We only
had a few, and we distributed them all before you got here."  He held out an
empty box.
    "What?"  Kireiko pounced forward and pawed at the box.  "You gotta be
kidding me!  Dude, where's my har?!?"  Matsuro had to smile.  Keiko had
finally gotten some har, and been rather surprised by it.  But then, everyone
had been, really.

>I love that line. "Dude, where's my har?!?" As reference to the recent movie
>"Dude, Where's My Car?".

>Also note that we finally got some har. Or something.

    "Matsuro?"  Matsuro looked down to see Keiko biting her lip.  "You need to
figure out which group you'll be in."
    "I do?"  He looked around and saw everyone dividing into groups, and then
noticed The One watching him.
    "Yeah.  I was thinking of going to see Tel'aran'rhiod--it sounds like
something I heard about in one of my magic books."  She looked down for a
moment.  "But maybe you should stay and protect The One.  But it's your
choice, really."
    "I--"  Matsuro blinked.  His choice.  He frowned and looked back and forth
between The One and Keiko.  This couldn't be...
    "It's okay, Matsuro," Keiko said quickly.  "You should stay and--"
    "No, I'm coming with you."  Why had he said that?  Maybe it because he
remembered being able to manipulate that dream world.  Maybe.  In any case,
Keiko was smiling.  She actually looked happy, instead of adoring or sultry.
Matsuro found that he actually liked the way she looked when she did that.
He smiled back, then happened to glance over and see The One, also smiling, in
a way.
    The choice is made.

>Matsuro has chosen Keiko, which means that Aki dies and becomes ruler of the
>Darkverse.

>What would have happened if he had chosen Aki? I'm not sure, actually.

    Had he really thought that?  He wasn't sure.
    As Matsuro checked himself over, preparing for the trip, he heard The One
sigh.  "I never wanted to do this," he heard her mutter.  "I never wanted to
be The One.  I just wanted...wanted to be..."

>"...a LUMBERJACK!"

>That was from a post on the DGML.

    Matsuro sighed.  "Whatever."

=====

    Aika knelt in the darkened warehouse office.
    THEY ARE FULLY DISTRIBUTED?
    "Yes, Great Shubby-chan."
    AND THERE IS ADEQUATE DISPERSAL?
    "Yes, Great Shubby-chan.  We ran the test charge as you commanded, and all
systems responded well."
    AND HOW MUCH LONGER UNTIL ENOUGH ENERGY IS ACCUMULATED?
    "Not much longer, Great Shubby-chan.  Less than an hour."
    GOOD.  The woman's head lolled as her eyes blazed with crimson light.  I
HAVE WAITED MILLENNIA, AND NOW ALL IS AT HAND.  AN HOUR MORE WILL BE AS
NOTHING.  There was the sense of a great shifting in the air, and a rumble
made Aika brace herself involuntarily.  I SHALL SHIFT ALL MY ENERGIES TO THE
TASK AT HAND--THE BATTLE WITH CTHULHU IS OF SECONDARY IMPORTANCE NOW.  SOON IT
SHALL BE TIME.
    "Time to extinguish the Light of the World," Aika whispered.  "Yes, Great
Shubby-chan."

>Now the purpose of those mysterious papers will finally be revealed.

>I suppose this scene might not have been necessary, but...it was easy to
>write.

=====

    Back at the battlefield, the proverbial waste material was hitting the
proverbial fan hard, fast and continuously.  Cthulhu-ised plane monsters were
strafing the streets.  Cloned magical girls with wildly colored hair were
building a strange symbol out of chunks of rubble.  Two great, bloated
parodies of men were facing off in the middle of a blasted park.  One had gray
hair about its temples and was wearing a thick slime-encrusted sweater, the
other appeared blindingly clean with waves of shadow slithering off it.  With
great roars the two behemoths collided, smacking together like sumo wrestlers.
The battle was sharp and eldritch, but ultimately the besweatered monster
emerged victorious.  With a final cry of "It's a Cthulhuful day in the
neighborhood," it delivered a Tombstone Piledriver, smashing its opponent into
fragments of shadow and slime.  It then staggered off into a gaggle of Sailor
clones, which began chopping it down to size.

>This was Mr. Deep One Rogers (created in a previous chapter) vs. the
>Shub-Niggurath monster that absorbed Yoi Maeda, the Blank Psychic and the
>Bluefaced Black Shadow.

>The Tombstone Piledriver is a wrestling move.

    The Quake Camper let loose a rocket, and wiped some slime from his brow.
As far as he was concerned, monsters killing each *other* was a very good
thing.  As he scurried through the wreckage, he suddenly noticed movement.
Squinting supiciously, he picked his way among the bits of reeking flesh and
then gasped.
    "Blank!"  The Blank Psychic moaned and twitched furtively, lying on his
back.  "Blank, are you all right?  Hey!"  The Camper looked behind him and
waved.  "Hey!  Man down!  We could use some help here!"  Two of the
Harbringers, the young one and the elderly one, teleported over to help him
with the survivors.  They quickly unearthed and teleported away the Blank
Psychic, the Bluefaced Black Shadow and a man in eerily white clothes.

>And this was a way to rescue those characters absorbed by the monster, so
>they could serve other purposes.

=====

    "I have to get there," Wataru muttered from the couch.
    Rika glanced over at him.  They'd moved to Yukiko's house when she had
started babbling about the end of the world and helping fight.  Rika hadn't
believed at first, but then the news reports from Tokyo started coming
in..."You mean, to the battle, don't you?" she asked.
    Wataru looked up.  Rika stepped back, momentarily startled by the
intensity of his eyes.  "Yes," he said.  Then his expression softened.  "Yes.
Sorry."  He coughed and looked away.
    Rika walked over and sat down next to him.  "Worried about her?"
    He caught her eyes again, then looked away.  "No.  ...Yes.  But it's
something," he waved his hands vaguely, and Rika resisted the urge to take
them in her own.  "It just feels like, like I've been missing something all my
life."
    Rika raised an eyebrow.  "Girls?"
    Wataru blinked, then laughed, with just a bit of hesitation.  "Not
exactly."
    "What, then?"  Rika studied his face curiously.
    He sighed.  "It's like...all my life, I just, threw in with the winning
side."  He looked down.  "I remember--even when I was just a kid, I'd help
bullies beat up other kids."  Wataru avoided her gaze.  "Not bully them
myself, just help.  And now..."
    "I think I understand," Rika said slowly.  She sat back and regarded him.
"The greatest gift of humanity is the ability to have faith in something
larger in themselves, something they have no guarantee will be victorious."
Then she noticed his expression, and burst into giggles.
    Wataru blinked.  "What--"
    "Sorry," she gasped.  "It's just, I just saw that in an anime.  That's
all."
    "Oh."  After a moment, he laughed too, an easier sound than she had yet
heard from him.  Rika smiled.
    "So what are you going to do?" she asked.
    Wataru's laughter died, and then his face hardened.  "I'm going to go help
do what's right.  I guess."  He stood up.
    Rika took a deep breath, then stood up.  "I'm going with you."
    Wataru turned to her, mouth dropping open.  She smiled at him.  He closed
his mouth.  After a moment, he looked away, then peered sideways at her.
"It'll be dangerous."
    "I know."
    "Really, REALLY dangerous."
    "Yukiko will be there," she replied firmly.
    Wataru tilted his head, then shrugged.  "Well, hell.  Take my hand."  She
smiled and took it.
    The room seemed to contract in on itself, bending and collapsing, and then
snapped back into shape minus the two teens.
    "Have fun, you two!" Sayaki called from the kitchen.

>I had to mention Rika and Sayaki, of course. And I had plans for Wataru.

=====

    Deep in the sewers of Tokyo, Cthulhu sat up straight on his throne.  "THAT
BITCH," he intonted.

>Typo there...

    Brothers Taro and Knoll looked at each other.  "Something the matter, O
Great Cthulhu?" Brother Taro ventured.
    "SHUB-NIGGURATH IS DOING SOMETHING OR OTHER TO SCREW WITH THE WORLD," he
replied.  "THIS IS REALLY IRRITATING.  IT ALMOST MAKES ME LOSE MY MOJO."

>This is after Cthulhu saw a bunch of Hollywood movies.

    Brother Knoll tried not to think about what that might mean as he said,
"Is there something we can do to stop it?"
    "NOT REALLY, BUT I THINK WE SHOULD STEP UP THE ATTACK ANYWAY."  He leaned
forward, red eyes gleaming.  "OH YEAH, BABY."
    A wave of rippling spread through space, a wave of dark intensity, a wave
of sheer Cthulhosity spreading outward.  Brothers Taro and Knoll cowered
against each other as it swept past them.  They'd felt things like this
before--the cult initiation hazings came to mind--but this felt like it would
spread over the entire city...

>You know the Cthulhu cult is evil because they haze their new members.

=====

    Keiko peered ahead through the crimson light of the dream world.  There
was a pyramid sitting on an endless plain of red sand.  Or maybe it was just
white sand under funny light.  Anyway, the pyramid looked familiar somehow.
She couldn't decide if it was very big and very far away, or very small and
right in front of her.
    "This must be the place," Matsuro said.  Keiko squeezed his hand, and felt
her heart flutter a little at the answering squeeze.
    "No, really?" Mariko muttered.  At that Keiko had to roll her eyes.  If
only the girl could learn to be civil, it would have made their whole journey
so much easier.
    "I think so," Koohii answered, totally missing the look Mariko shot her.
    "Yes, definitely source of blocking energy," Zathras nodded.

>Notice that Zathras is here.

    Keiko nodded as well.  "There's definitely some Big Magic being worked
there."
    Tetsu squinted and tossed his Anvil from hand to hand idly.  "How do we
get there?  Is it a long way away, or...not?"
    Yumeki tore her eyes away from Tetsu's muscles and squinted at the
pyramid.  "Aren't we supposed to have guides?  Hm?"  The green-haired priest
with the pack chuckled, and Yumeki frowned.  "And who invited him anyway?"

>I'm making sure everyone knows who's here.

    T-kun jumped and looked away from his study of Hanko, his face coloring.
Keiko noticed the girl's smile, and had to smile herself; they really did look
kind of cute together.  "Sure, it should be easy to get there," he said.  "We
should all just link hands and concentrate on being on the doorstep, and it'll
happen."  Everyone gathered into a circle.
    "Just clap your hands and believe?" Yaki asked, voice heavy with scorn.
Keiko glared at her and grabbed Matsuro's hand before the other Sailor could,
then felt her stomach clench as Yoruko caught his other hand.  She looked over
at Keiko and smiled brightly.
    "Oddly enough, sometimes it works," Hanko said calmly.
    "Okay, this is it, everyone," Matsuro said coolly.  Keiko sighed inwardly;
something about him giving commands, in those Grand Duke Midnight clothes...
"It's time to take care of business."
    There was a shifting, and the landscape blurred around them.  The pyramid
suddenly filled the sky.
    Keiko looked up.  Her first instinct had been right; it was very, very
big.

=====

    Suddenly the battlefield looked empty.  The Harbringers looked around at
the torn-up roads, littered with slime and magical girl corpses.  Amanamuro
coughed.  "So, uh, what now?" he asked.
    Hirata gave him a look.  "Don't you remember your Harbringer training?  We
go to the Tokyo Tower now!"
    "Oh, right."  He blushed.
    "Why the Tokyo Tower?" the Quake Camper squeaked.
    Hirata rolled her eyes, but Ganno answered.  "Because it's just how things
work," he rasped.
    "...oh."

>Well, it is.

=====

    Matsuro poked his head in the door and looked around, then stepped in the
room.  Keiko stepped him after him.  "Can you tell where the magic is, uh,
coming from, Keiko?" he asked.
    Keiko frowned and chewed her lip.  "It's getting closer.  I think--"
    "Ah ha ha ha HAAA!"  A tall, extremely bishounen man sauntered into the
room from the opposite door.  "Well, look who it is!"
    Matsuro blinked.  "Arisu?"
    Arisu pulled out a handkerchief and brushed it along his arm.  "I'm
flattered you remember.  This time you won't find it so easy to deal with me,
especially without your friends to help you."
    Yumeki poked her head in.  "Oooh, he's cute!" he squealed.  Mariko and
Yaki followed her into the room.
    "Oh, this is where everyone is.  Hi, all!"  Mermaid bounced into the room,
followed by Koohii and Scotch.
    Tetsu then walked in.  "Nice place, does it have a bath?"  Then Tsuriai,
chatting amiably with Zathras, and then T-kun and Hanko, and...
    "You were saying?" Matsuro said, hefting his Sword of Duality.
    "But I just got this body," Arisu said weakly.  Matsuro noticed rather
evil smiles sprouting on all the Darkverse Sailors, including Keiko.

=====

>Poor Arisu, we didn't even get to see him get stomped.

    "That's it!" Chiang yelled.  "Everyone get ready!"
    The One straightened up, hiding a yawn.
    "Aki!"
    "Tejina!"
    "Becky!"
    The One blinked as she was suddenly surrounded by Hiryuu, Sakyou and Koji,
all staring at her intently.  "Um...I guess you mean me?"
    "I'm here to protect you," they all proclaimed.  Then they gave each other
various looks.
    "Men," Ayame said.  The One giggled, then stared at her.
    "Ayame."
    "Hm?"
    "You said...um, a sentence with only one word."
    "Sometimes, is all you need," Zathras noted.  He and Ayame shared a laugh.
    The three men started to speak, but Chiang cut them off.  "Come on, it's
time," he said, mouth quirked in a smile.  The One smiled back, then looked at
the glowing white tear in the air and her smile faded.

>Notice Zathras.

=====

    Wataru and Rika appeared in the middle of a bunch of people they didn't
know, who all stared.  Some at him, some at her, some at his shirt.  He held
up his hands.  "Uh, don't shoot!"
    "Yukiko?" Rika called.
    There was a gasp.  "Rika?  Is that you?!?"  Wataru exhaled as another girl
slipped out of the crowd and took Rika's hands.  There was much jumping up and
down and high-pitched squealing, and he smiled weakly.
    "Uh, hi," he said.  "My name's Wataru.  I don't suppose anyone here knows
who I am?"  Wataru blinked as nobody nodded.  "Oh, really?  Good--I mean,
well, I'm a friend.  As you can see."  He gestured with his head towards the
reuniting girls.

>Aki might be afraid of him, and there were some other people who would
>realize he was affiliated with Shub-Niggurath, but none of them are here.

    A woman whose age he couldn't place snorted and grounded the point of a
sword in the earth.  He blinked at it.  "Fine, whatever.  I don't suppose you
know anything about healing?"
    "Well, I--"  Then he noticed a man lying on the ground in fencing costume.
With a groan, the man shot to his feet and stepped forward, making Wataru step
back.  A hunched furry creature who had been examining the man stumbled
backwards, muttering to itself.

>Look, it's Zathras!

    "Wataru!" he said.  "Can it be?"
    Wataru frowned.  There was something familiar..."Uh, be what?"
    The man pulled off his fencing mask to reveal a startlingly familiar face.
In face, it looked just like--his.  "It's me!" the man boomed.  "Your dear old
dad!  I'm sorry I had to give you up for adoption all those years ago!  Oh,
how I've missed you!"
    Wataru gaped.  "Dad?"  Being raised in foster homes, he'd never felt any
real connection to parents, and so sought out...other means of support.  But
now--"Dad?" he asked again, not knowing what else to say.
    "Son!"  The Blank Psychic wrapped his arms around Wataru and squeezed
hard, drawing a muffled wheeze.

>See, arcane powers run in the family.

    "How touching," Hirata said dryly.  She turned and looked at the other two
prone men.  "Do these belong to anyone?"
    "That's one of Villyn's Minions," Hanaki said, walking up to them,
followed closely by Kireiko, cleaning the slime from his claws.  "In fact,
both these two are."  She looked at the family reunion and smiled, a tear
coming to her eye.
    "But he," Kireiko growled, staring at the man in white, "is one of those
general guys from the Darkverse!"
    "Yes," Zathras echoed.  "Very bad man, from Darkverse, though originally
from Earth."
    At this point the Bluefaced Black Shadow got to his feet.  "Esjie," he
added.  "Tried to depose the Queen at one point."  He sneered.  "He doesn't
have half the class of Villyn-sama.  The Darkverse was awful under him."
    Hirata peered at him.  "And how do you know so much about the Darkverse?"
    "Oh--well, I, uh--"  The BBS deflated.  "Okay, fine.  I'm a youma.  You
all happy now?"  He glared around the circle.

>This was something I hinted at in an earlier chapter.

    Hanaki and Hirata exchanged confused glances.  "I guess that's why your
skin is blue?" Wataru gasped, finally having been released.
    The BBS looked at him oddly.  "No, that's just because of my tie."
    Rika sweatdropped.

=====

>And of course I had to mention the parents.

    "Yes, I understand your concern," Kireiko's father said patiently, "but we
really have no idea where they are."
    Mrs. Nakao sighed.  "As I expected.  But..."  She looked around.
    "Hm?  What is it?" Kireiko's mother asked.
    "Well..."
    "Could we stay here with you?" Mr. Nakao asked nervously.  Kireiko's
mother and father exchanged a grin.
    "It's just that this is the most defensible position," V put in.
    "And there's safety in numbers," Mrs. Anderson added.
    Mr. and Mrs. Yamanaka peered into the house.  "Oh, I love what you've done
with the place!" Mrs. Yamanaka said.
    Mr. Yamanaka smiled.  "Yes, very nice.  Have any soundproofing in the
bedroom?  We had to rip out a lot to get adequate protection.  Wouldn't want
to upset Keiko-chan."  Mrs. Yamanaka blushed and giggled.

>I guess this wasn't entirely clear, but the point is that Keiko's parents
>have lots of soundproofing in their bedroom.

    The other parents stared.
    Eiji slipped into the house and began to sing the Tej is Gonna Be Grounded
song once again.

>And there's Eiji.

=====

    Chiang strode through the Palace of Obscurity, at least that was what it
was probably called, with a purposeful air.  The One followed a bit more
slowly, looking around at every opportunity.  She felt her "protectors"
following her closely, but paid them little heed.  The Kingdom of Obscurity
wasn't quite as boring as the name made it out to be.
    For example, there was dust over everything.  Quite thick layers, perhaps
dating from even before the time of the Crystal Kingdom.  Yet even though the
lack of upkeep was obvious, very little was run-down.  Everything was frozen
into a state of perpetual bleak whiteness.  There were no people anywhere, and
the homey touches left around the palace must have been there since it was
abandoned.  It was very eerie, and more than a little sad.
    "We're getting close," Chiang murmured.  The One nodded, then turned back
and smiled at the others.  Ayame smiled back, as did Sakyou, though Hiryuu and
Koji looked back at her intently.  And Zathras was shaking his head,
murmuring.
    "Zathras have bad feeling about this," he said softly.  "Zathras knows
when things not have happy ending."

>There's Zathras again.

    The One sighed, and looked back at Chiang.  And then gasped.
    A great courtyard spread out in front of them, open to the sky.  At least,
partly open; sun shone in through a ragged hole in the roof.  The courtyard's
grass looked well-trodden, if ordinary.  And in the middle of the great open
space was a statue.
    She'd been avoiding looking at the statue, but The One's eyes were
inevitably drawn to it.  It was her--Yalena.  This was where it had happened,
this was where everything had started...this was Yalena, and the Dark Gem was
around the statue's neck.  She took a step forward.
    "That's...far enough."
    The One turned, and felt a host of emotions take hold of her.  The Baron,
her love, and she DID love him, had an arm wrapped around Ayame, whose eyes
were wide with fright.  A blade gleamed at her throat.  The Baron's face was
unreadable.
    The other men shifted their positions, and--"Don't."  The Baron's voice
was like a whip.
    "My love," the One whispered.  "Stagner-chan."  The Baron's head jerked.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Chiang looking back and forth
between them.  And Ayame had come with them because it had seemed safe...
    "Don't--don't you see," the Baron rasped, pulling at Ayame, who stood on
tiptoes.  "Don't you see, I did it all, for you.  After they did THAT."  He
jerked his head toward the statue.  "It's--all for you."
    She shook her head.  "You always were...so stubborn," she managed.  "You
should have let me go, years ago.  I--Yalena died.  I needed nothing."  She
blinked, the scene growing hazy.
    The Baron made a sharp sound deep in his throat, and Ayame whimpered.  The
men were shifting closer to The One, though Sakyou's sword was out and he was
frowning in thought.  "It doesn't *matter*," the Baron spat.  "After
everything that happened...I have to balance the scales.  I have to make sure
justice is done.  For you--for me.  For all of us."
    The One looked at him, steadily.  "Those who did this deed are long gone,
their punishments secured.  The destruction you call for would accomplish
nothing.  Nothing."  She studied his face.  "Nothing."
    "Stop saying that!"
    "But now is a chance to heal," The One continued.  She felt a tearing in
her chest as she saw tears glistening on his cheeks.  "To make right what once
went wrong.  I promise."
    "But--"  The Baron shook his head, sagging.  And in that moment Ayame
elbowed him in the stomach and slipped out, quickly running over behind the
others.  The One exhaled.
    "I am sorry, my love," she said.  He sobbed again.  "I will make
everything right again...I promise."  She turned and approached the statue.

=====

    The Baron shook his head and blinked away tears, watching the woman climb
the few makeshift steps to the statue.  It was her--It was just how his
beloved Yalena talked.  But she would surely see--and yet a voice inside him
whispered that she never thought in terms of revenge, in terms of punishment
or vengeance.  That was how she always had been.  That was why he loved her.
    And the Baron stood there, silently, and watched her reach for the Gem,
her present form pressing against the frozen past.  And he watched, and could
not say anything, as the spells he had woven around the statue triggered,
sending a bolt of lethal energy sparking through her body.

>In other words...

>The Baron has put a bunch of magical traps around the statue. He's never been
>able to get the Dark Gem, of course, but he also doesn't want anyone else to
>get it.

>And he realizes that she's about to be killed, basically, and doesn't do
>anything to stop it.

=====

    Sakyou's eyes widened as he felt the sleeping power rearing its head, but
he had no time before the explosion smashed into him, throwing him back.  He
stumbled onto the pavement, blinking.  He couldn't see anything--there was a
moment of panic as the thought of blindness occurred to him, but he kept
blinking and felt a wash of relief as fuzzy images appeared.
    Slowly, the Harbringer sat up.  Still blurs, but in front of him was a
bluish form.  Blue--he realized it was Tejina.  Tejina!  Sakyou crawled
forward and took her in his arms.  She felt warm, and--yes, she was breathing!
"Tejina," he whispered.  Then he coughed.  "Tejina?  Tejina!"
    Tejina let out a soft moan, and her eyelids flickered.  "Wh--what?"
    "Shhh, it's all right," he said, reaching out to stroke her hair.  "It's
all right."  Then Sakyou felt a chill, realizing that he might be lying.  He
looked up and around the room, noticing other forms lying prone.  There was
the guy in the tuxedo, holding Becky in his arms.  She coughed, which was a
very good sign.  Sakyou looked around again.
    Hiryuu was cradling Aki in his arms, and gently rocking her back and
forth.  His lips were moving, and then he looked up to meet the Harbringer's
eyes.  Sakyou's stomach turned as he read the truth in that face.

>In other words...Aki has passed on.

=====

    The skies above Tokyo were slowly turning from a pale blue to a murky gray
with the onset of night.  With the air and light pollution emanated by quite a
few cars, several industrial districts, a huge number of streetlights and one
apocalyptic battle, nothing much could be seen of the heavens other than a
soft blur.
    But an observer that could see beyond the hazy Tokyo atmosphere would
witness several constellations finally swinging into alignment, sketching out
eerie patterns in the sky.
    The stars were right.

>In other words, the Light of the World, Aki, has been extinguished, as it
>were.

>"The stars are right" is a Lovecraftian phrase, by the way.

=====

    Deep in the sewers of Tokyo, Cthulhu stirred.  His bloated body swelled,
filling the dark tunnel as cultists ran shrieking.  The turgid green flesh
hit the ceiling and continued on.
    The city streets were mostly empty, and what few pedestrians there were
fled at the first sight of cracks in the road.  With an extended ripping
sound, chunks of asphalt the size of convenience stores flipped up and
skittered away.  A great octopoid head popped up from the hole, and Cthulhu
pulled itself into the light with slimy wet sounds.

=====

>The point of this scene is that...Byakko wants to destroy the worlds, so he
>helps Shub-Niggurath. Seiryuu wants them to be destroyed and reborn, so she
>helps. Genbu wants to basically make everyone understand how things should
>be, so he wants the worlds to reunite, and this strategem helps that.

    The business-suited woman rolled her eyes, which glowed with an eldritch
light.
    I AM SURPRISED THAT SUCH AS YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS ENDEAVOR.
    Byakko bared his teeth and growled, his body seeming to swell in size (and
in fact it probably was).  "I'M A GOD OF DESTRUCTION, BABY!"
    Seiryuu rolled her eyes.  A certain type of deity figured that all you
really needed was a big voice and an impressive look.  It always annoyed her.
"And I a god of destruction and rebirth, as it were.  So at the moment our
purposes are aligned."  She turned to frown at a man with greenish hair.  "But
I can't figure out why you approve."
    Genbu looked back at her calmly, a smile flickering around his lips.  "I
have my reasons.  It's a difficult task, balancing the worlds."  Byakko began
to lick the back of his hand.
    Seiryuu shrugged.  If he thought it would help him, it was all the better.
"Fine.  Let it begin."
    "Come on, guys," Suzaku whined, tugging at Byakko's vest.  "This isn't
funny!"  Byakko growled again, shook her hand off, and looked menacing.
    "Look at it this way, my dear," Genbu said as a charge seemed to build up
in the air around them.  "The more we break the world, the more you can mend
it."
    Suzaku stopped her tugging, and blinked at him.  "Uh, really?"  Then she
frowned.  "Hey, are you just saying that to make me feel better?"
    "Either way, it's too late now," Seiryuu noted.
    YES.  THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD IS EXTINGUISHED.  THE TIME IS NOW!
    Suddenly the energy in the air coalesced into a blinding flash of light
which broke into myriad streams, thousands of gleaming sparks shooting into
the sky to trace arcing paths back down...landing all over the city where
small papers were plastered on fences and stuffed in gutters.

>So all the papers, which are spread over a large area, are activated. So what
>do they do?

=====

    Sohkoh spun his yo-yo as he watched the youma troop through the portal.
In the privacy of his own mind he admitted he was a little unnerved by all the
talk of apocalypses and worlds being destroyed, not to mention the
extraordinarily strange monsters attacking them.  And here he was, bringing in
*more* monsters to add to the chaos and carnage.  But he was a Darkverse
General, a position with a long tradition of being calm and collected in the
face of hideous evil.  Hopefully no one else had noticed how shaky his
yo-yo-ing was.
    The last of the hideous monsters (the ones on *his* side, supposedly)
exited the portal to the Darkverse, and Sohkoh sighed with relief.  He gave
the mental command word to close the portal, and turned back to the main mass
of troops.
    "Yo!  Sohkoh!"  Sohkoh rolled his eyes as Ayesse strode into view,
scowling.  Somehow the other General had contrived to install rhinestones on
his Darkverse uniform.  Well, everyone dealt with crises in their own way.
    "All troops present and accounted for," Sohkoh said, spinning out his
yo-yo and letting it sleep.  "And why are you looking at me like that?
Someone steal your George Michael CDs again?"
    Ayesse pointed a threatening finger in the first General's face.  "I can't
imagine how you people can dislike 'Addicted to Love'--"  He shook his head.
"It's just this battle, man.  Got me on edge.  Come on, close the portal and
we'll get back to it."

>Ayesse and his obsession with the 80's, of course.

    Sohkoh grimaced as the yo-yo ran out of steam before he could bring it
back up.  "I did," he growled, turning, then blinked as he saw the still-open
portal.  He peered at the opening to the Darkverse, thinking the 'close'
command at it hard, but it stayed put.
    "Oh, for--outta the way, man."  Ayesse elbowed past Sohkoh and squinted at
the portal.
    Sohkoh felt a dizzy, clenching feeling settle in his stomach.  "Ayesse, I
think something's--"
    Ayesse muttered something imprecatory and threw out his hands.  His hands
began to coruscate with multicolored energy, that leaped out to the portal--
and died away.  He gaped.
    Sohkoh heard the youma edging away from the portal behind him, and he
followed suit.  "Like I was saying, something is interfering."
    They backed away, watching the opening into another world expand and blur,
until it suddenly seemed like the scenery of the Earth was darkening, being
replaced by something else entirely.

>That's what the papers do. They widen any existing portals between the Earth
>and the Darkverse, and merge them together.

>Why Shub-Niggurath does this will be explained a bit later.

=====

    Aki opened her eyes.
    She was in...a room.  With stone walls.  As a matter of fact, she was
sitting in a chair.  This rather confused her, as the last thing she
remembered was touching the statue--and there had been a horrible pain, but it
only lasted for a moment.  And now this...To take her mind off her confusion,
she looked around at the other inhabitants of the room.  Unfortunately, ranged
around the room in chairs appeared to be several Darkverse Generals, a
young man in combat fatigues embossed with a goat symbol, a large purple
lizard, several strangely rounded monsters, a bunch of little goat-like
creatures and a stylish-looking young blond man with spiked hair.  This last
noticed her gaze and nodded to her; none of the other occupants paid her the
slightest attention, which was quite a relief.

>These are all the characters who died. I had to find some way to mention
>them, after all. Most of the shortest-lived named characters were Darkverse
>Generals and Shub-Niggurath cultists. Also see the Embryonic Devil-Goats.

    "Evening, miss," the young man said with a pronounced English accent.
    "Um, good evening," Aki replied.  "Is it evening?"

>Hard to tell in the Darkverse.

    He leaned back and scratched his chin thoughtfully.  "Good question, that.
I don't reckon I know.  Thing is, around here it's hard to tell sometimes."
He smiled companionably.  "Name's Spike, by the way."
    "Aki Villyn," she replied automatically.  "Um--yes.  Here..."
    "Ah.  Haven't figured it out yet, have you?"  Spike leaned forward and
peered at her intently.  "Brace yourself for a bit of a shock, lass."
    Aki braced herself, or at least tried to.  "Yes?"
    "Welcome to the afterlife."

=====

    A middle-aged man (who wasn't really a man at all) took a sip from his
lightly alcoholic cocktail and sighed, leaning back in his chair, shaded from
the blistering sun by a large umbrella.  Next to him, on a blanket on the
sand, a woman turned over onto her stomach and settled herself again.  The man
reached out and idly tapped a few keys on his laptop computer.
    Then a woman with a long blue braid snapped into existence, and he sprayed
his drink all over the sunbathing woman, who promptly began shrieking.
    "Great Seiryuu-sama!" the man said, stumbling to his feet.  "I, uh, we,
uh, to what--"
    "Ichiban," the Blue Dragon of the Heavens and East cut in.  "And Sanban.
I trust you have been enjoying yourselves."  She cut off his stammering with a
gesture.  "What would happen if you sold all your stocks?"
    Ichiban blinked, trying to jumpstart his mind into action.  "Ah--all of
them, Seiryuu-sama?"
    "All of them."
    "Well, we'd get--several trillion, well, what currency do you--"
    "What *else* would happen?" she snapped.  Sanban had gotten to her feet, a
towel wrapped around her, and was watching the deity with wide eyes.
    Ichiban swallowed.  "Uh, the stock prices would go down."
    "And?"
    "And--"  His eyes widened as a thought occurred to him.  "And the rest of
the investors would think something was wrong as the prices fell so fast--"
    "And?"
    "And they would sell the stocks and the prices of the entire market would
drop even further..."  The Dragon trailed off.  "That's it, isn't it?"
    "Yes."  Seiryuu smiled, just a little.  "That's it exactly."
    Ichiban cleared his throat.  "Are you sure, Seiryuu-sama?"
    "Destruction and rebirth, Ichiban."  She crossed her arms and nodded to
the laptop.  "Destruction and rebirth."
    Ichibian sat down again, looking at the screen.  Sanban walked over to
stand at his shoulder.  "Ichiban--"
    "Shhh."  With one last glance at Seiryuu, he sighed and began typing.
"Well...it was fun while it lasted, anyway."

>In other words: Those Dragons, progenitors of Dragon Childe, are using their
>influence to crash the stock market.

=====

    Yoru slithered together involuntarily, his tongue flickering.  He had just
regained consciousness, and was trying to figure out what had happened.
Obviously something had gone wrong--the Baron was sure to be angry with them.
Actually, now that the snake thought about it, the Baron would probably have
already forgotten.  That was how the man's mind worked, and all the better for
lowly animals that wanted to survive.
    "Egad," croaked a voice behind Yoru.  He slithered around to see a black
bird flapping its wings experimentally.  Specifically, Edgar the raven, his
partner in crime.  "Nevermore," Edgar managed.  "That's when I'm working for
the Baron.  Nevermore."
    "Oh, sssshut up," Yoru hissed, and uncoiled himself to slither off.
    Edgar glared.  "Wait a minute, Yoru.  I want you to listen for a moment.
Just...listen."
    Yoru chuckled.  "Your literary trickssss won't work on me, bird," he
replied.  "We reptilessss are made of ssssterner sssstuff.  Bessssidessss, I
never killed anyone.  And Cccceccccil was high sssstrung, anyway."
    "Oh."  Edgar flapped a few times.  "Damn."

>Yoru is indulging himself in the hissing. Also...I kinda wanted to do
>something else with these two, but...oh well.

=====

    "So...I'm dead."
    Spike nodded.  "I'm afraid so."
    Aki considered.  "I guess--well, that wasn't as bad as I had thought it
might be.  Dying, I mean."
    "Nah, dying's no problem.  It's living that'll getcha.  He smiled, and Aki
had to smile back.

>Missed a " there...

    "But, uh, now what?"  She looked around the room, and at that moment a
door opened to admit a demon.  At least, that's what she *thought* it looked
like; it had red skin and horns, and a definitely evil-looking goatee.
However, it also sported a beer gut and a Hawaiian shirt.
    "Well, hello, all," the demon said, beaming.  "My name's Bob, and I'll be
your host in the Waiting Room until we get this all straightened out--"  He
trailed off as saw Aki, eyes getting very wide indeed.

>It's Bob, the demon Keiko summoned all the way back in #3!

>He knows about Aki's visit to the Darkverse and her relationship to the
>Queen. How does he know? I'm not sure, probably the Darkverse/Hell
>equivalent of The Enquirer or People magazine.

    Aki shifted in her seat.  "Um, yes?  Do I know you?"
    Bob shook his head.  "Oh, no, no, not at all.  It's just that I happened
to see you when you were last here."  His face split in a smile.  "Oh, this is
quite a nice surprise!"
    "Last here?  This is the first time I remember being dead," Aki replied.
    "Wait."  Spike leaned forward, eyes intent.  "I know I'm dead, but--you
said Waiting Room?  I thought, especially after seeing you--no offense, mate,
but--we aren't in the...bad place?"  He eyed Aki.  "I mean, I know *I'm* going
there, but this sweet young thing..."  Aki edged away from him.

>"bad place", i.e. Hell.

    Bob blinked.  "What?  Oh!  No, not at all."  He shook his head.  "There's
some sort of problem--I don't know what happened, exactly, something about
Destinies."  Aki snorted.  "But the point is that some particular individuals
have been stuck here in the Waiting Room for a while, instead of being free to
roam around the castle."

>All the Named Characters, in other words.

    "Castle?"  Aki blinked, a thought suddenly striking her.
    "Yes, well--"  Bob sighed.  "I really should start from the beginning."
He helped himself to a chair, turning it around to lean against the back, and
smiling brightly.  "When people on Earth die, they come here.  Except for the
few who immediately get to go to--as our friend said, the good place or the
bad place.  You know."  Spike chuckled weakly.  "Or sometimes they just stay
here until their time is done, and then get reincarnated back to Earth.  At
least they usually do; nobody's quite sure how reincarnation works, and some
rather odd things have happened with it in the past."
    "You don't say," Aki replied.  "But wait.  Then if we aren't in, uh,
Hell," she noticed Spike wince, "where are we?"
    Bob blinked.  Then he laughed.  "Oh, of course!  I'm just here on a sort
of work exchange program.  We demons come every now and then--well, the
details aren't important, the point is that I'm just visiting."

=====

    Oddly enough, right at that moment in the *actual* Hell, a woman named
Itako was having a pleasant chat with her sister and her sister's gloomy white
boyfriend.

>Itako, Akemi and Elric.

=====

    Bob got up from his chair and walked to a curtained window, the other
inhabitants of the room watching him listlessly.  The demon turned with the
air of a showman, and took hold of the edge of the curtain.  "Ladies and
gentlemen, your new home, at least those of you who aren't immediately coming
back with me--"  He pulled the curtain aside, letting dim light flow into the
room.
    Aki gaped.  "The Darkverse?!?"
    One of the Generals leaped up from his seat.  "The Darkverse!  I'm back!"
he crowed.
    "Oh, shut up, Polente," Lessente growled, and took another swig from a
bottle.
    "More, sir?" Damu asked, gesturing to Ramu.

>When did Lessente die? I dunno, really.

=====

    An entity calling itself His Not-Quite-As-Eminence scurried through the
battlefield, muttering to itself continuously.
    "go off without me and leave me stuck with the humans and try to take over
the world himself mutter grumble"

=====

    The Baron crept up to the ruins of the statue.  Tears ran down his cheeks,
but he paid them no mind.  The rest of the pathetic do-gooders were occupied
with their fallen comrades.  None noticed his stealthy advance.
    He had sacrificed everything for this moment.  All those years, those
millennia, his kingdom, his life, and now even his Yalena had been taken from
him.  And now...now it would not go in vain.
    The Baron's hands closed around the Dark Gem, and a tide of black energy
exploded from his body.

=====

    Coruscations of darkness swept across the Earth, the Darkverse, and other
worlds, shuddering the very foundations of reality.

=====

    -...oh, shit-

>That's the Icon/Emblem/Banner talking. This is not supposed to happen.

=====

    Matsuro wiped his forehead.  "Well, that wasn't too hard."
    A shudder ran through the world, and a wave of dark energy phased through
them.  Matsuro hardly noticed Keiko clutching his arm as he reeled.  Something
had happened--something bad.  "Aki," he whispered.
    "Matsuro?  Matsuro!"  He blinked and noticed Keiko staring at him, even
paler than usual.  "What's wrong?"
    "Aki.  I--"  He swallowed.  "I don't know.  But...at the same time I *do*
know."
    After a moment, Keiko swallowed as well.  "But--how could that--"
    He shook his head.
    "Whoa, you actually got rid of him?  That's quite something."  Matsuro
turned to see an oni approaching them--an actual oni, with horns and the
striped clothes and everything.  Even the belly button.  The oni was
surveying the wreckage with interest.
    "May I help you?" Matsuro asked.
    The oni squinted at him.  "I don't know you, but...you ever meet a guy by
the name of Kireiko?"  He snorted.

>See, Kireiko's oni father (as I always think of him) knows a lot about the
>dream world, as established in previous chapters.

    "Actually, yes," Matsuro said.  "He plays guitar, I play drums."
    "Oh, really.  Hm."  The oni regarded him intently.  "I'm his father."
    Matsuro tilted his head, and Keiko gaped.  "I thought his father was an
accountant."
    "That was his *human* father.  I'm his *oni* father."
    Matsuro and Keiko gave him a 'You're weird' look.  [So that's what that
feels like,] Matsuro thought.

>To give someone a 'You're weird' look, of course.

    "Anyway."  The oni looked him square in the eye.  "Looks like something
kind of went wrong here."
    "Not here," Matsuro said.  "But somewhere."
    "Well, I just happen to know," the mythical Japanese monster looked around
shiftily, "I just happen to know that the Department of Mystical Destinies is
around here."
    "*The* Department of Mystical Destinies?" Keiko gasped.  "Really?  Oh,
wow!"
    "Wild," Matsuro said.  "So, what, you think they can help us?"
    "Oh, yes."  The oni nodded.  "I have a feeling that they're the sort of
help the world needs right about now."
    -Yes- the Banner supplied.  -They are our only chance now-
    "Well, it's not like they haven't meddled in things enough already."  He
sighed.  "Okay, oni, lead the way."

=====

    At the Tokyo Tower, a huge apocalyptic battle was taking place.
    Again.

>Isn't that always the way?

=====

    "Hey, Matsuro, it's good to see you again."
    Matsuro blinked, once.  "Hi, Other Mom."  He felt, rather than heard,
Keiko mutter something at his arm.
    "I told you, it's Karen."  Karen looked around the rest of the crew
trooping in, then suddenly blushed.
    "Well, well, if it isn't Karen."  Kireiko's oni father stepped forward, a
big grin on his face.  "You're certainly looking well."
    "Fureddo-san," the Department of Mystical Destinies employee said.  "It's,
nice to see you again."

>I couldn't think of a name for the oni, so I just called him 'Fred'. Oh well.
>And Karen and Fred apparently had some sort of relationship in the past, or
>something. I just threw that in, really.

    "We have a problem," Matsuro said, trying not to think about the
implications of those last couple of statements.  There was a large booming
sound, and the room actually shook.  Matsuro stood firm, but everyone else
stumbled (except Keiko, who just hung onto him...which was actually kind of a
nice feeling).  "See?"
    "Uh, yeah, I noticed," Karen replied.  "This really wasn't supposed to
happen--"
    -No, it was not-
    Karen scowled at the Banner of the Darkverse, slung over Matsuro's
shoulder.  "Unfortunately, I don't know what we can--"
    -We must turn back time-
    Karen exhaled, eyes wide.  Matsuro stared at the Banner, along with
everyone else in the room.  "Come again?" he asked.
    -We must make it so that the Baron never has gotten his hands on the Gem,
otherwise all is lost-  Another shudder rocked the room to punctuate the
statement.  Keiko was looking around, partially in fear and partially in what
had to be interest as to the room's contents.  He made sure to keep himself
steady for her, for which she smiled gratefully.
    "Hey, Matsuro."  Matsuro turned back to Karen, who was looking at him
intently.  "This is possible--I think--but it's just this side of
*im*possible.  It's also really, really dangerous--"
    "Whatever," Matsuro said.  Keiko sighed happily.

>He says that a lot, doesn't he?

    -It must be done-
    Karen rolled her eyes.  "Right, right, whatever."  She turned to a desk
and began rummaging through papers.  "Let's see, first we need the One--"
    A young man all in black, from his short hair to his trenchcoat to his
sunglasses, stood up.  He seemed hesitant.  "Yes?"

>Neo, i.e. the One from the film "The Matrix".

    "No, I meant--"
    A Chinese man in a police officer's uniform stood up.  "Yes?"

>Jet Li, from the film "The One", which was released just recently.

    Karen blinked.  "No, I--"
    A big black man in some sort of uniform stood up.  He was bald, or perhaps
shaven-headed, and had a stylish beard.  "Yes?" he said in a deep rumble.

>Avery Brooks as Commander Sisko from Deep Space Nine, the "One" of the
>entities of the wormhole. Or maybe the "Chosen". I forget the exact term.

    Three people, two men in uniform and a woman with a strange bone structure
on her face, walked up to them.  "I believe you are referring to us?" the
woman said, in an accent Matsuro couldn't place.  Zathras immediately scurried
up and began greeting them, with many smiles and warm words.

>Sinclair, Delenn and Sheridan from Babylon 5, where Zathras is from as well.
>There was a whole "One" plot thing in there too. All three were the "One",
>sort of.

    Matsuro gaped.  "Or maybe you mean him?"  The black man gestured over to a
bed, occupied by a guy wrapped completely in bandages.

>See, there's a Metallica song called "One" which is about this guy in WWI, I
>think, that has his arms and legs blown off by a mine.

    "QUIET!" Karen yelled.  All conversation stopped dead.  She scowled, her
face coloring.  "I meant *him*," she snapped, gesturing to Matsuro.  The
others muttered various things and moved away.  Matsuro closed his mouth.
    "Wow, this is more complicated than I'd thought," Koohii noted.
    "And now the Prophecy."  Karen took a sheet of paper from the desk and
looked at it.  "One Ring to find them all, and--no, wait."  She put the paper

>Lord of the Rings.

aside and looked at another.  "Twice marked, and twice again...no," she

>Wheel of Time.

quickly found another.  "When Birnam Wood to Dunsinane--"  Matsuro blinked as

>Macbeth, by Shakespeare.

Karen threw the paper over her shoulder, pawing through them faster.  "On the
day of the dead, when the--"  *FLIP*  "One to be born, from--"  *FLIP*

>On the day of the dead when the year too dies, must the youngest open the
>oldest hills, the Dark is Rising series. One to be born, from a dragon, Final
>Fantasy IV (II).

"Thirteen treasures--"  *FLIP*  "A Minbari not born of--"  *FLIP*  "A man not

>Thirteen treasures of ancient time, (The Pirates of) Dark Water. A Minbari
>not born of Minbar, Babylon 5.

of woman born--"  *FLIP*  "If you go to Z'hadum--"  *FLIP*  "White gold--"

>A man not of woman born, Macbeth again. If you go to Z'hadum, you will die,
>Babylon 5. White gold, Stephen R. Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant
>the Unbeliever.

*FLIP*  "Marry your mother--"  *FLIP*  "The seventh seal--"  *FLIP*  "Break

>Marry your mother, Oedipus. The seventh seal, Book of Revelation.

the shell of the world--"  She paused to read that one twice, then threw it
away with the others.  "Those of the Center of Earth--"

>Break the shell of the world, most notably Revolutionary Girl Utena.

>...whew!

    "Wait!" Matsuro called.  Karen stopped and looked at him.  "That sounds
right," he noted.
    She studied the paper.  "Yes, actually.  But where's page two--aha!"  She
pulled a final sheet from the desk and held it up triumphantly.
    "Woohoo," Sailor Despair deadpanned.  Keiko and Mariko both chuckled, then
glared at each other.
    Matsuro sighed.  "So what do we do?" he asked.
    "Hm.  Well."  Karen seated herself on the desk and crossed her legs, still
reading.  "It seems that we need someone who will manipulate the timeline--or,
someone part of the timeline--"  Her brow furrowed.  "Why do all prophecies
have to be so confusing?" she muttered.
    "Maybe I can help," a new voice said.  Matsuro turned to see the green-
haired priest guy walk up with a smile on his face.  "I believe I know what is
necessary."  He stood next to Karen and began talking in a low voice.
Matsuro looked down and saw Keiko staring up at him in bewilderment.  He
almost smiled at her expression, and shrugged.
    "Okay!"  Karen clapped her hands.  "Everyone gather around, we know what
we have to do now."  Matsuro blinked as he realized *everyone* was gathered
around them--the Darkverse Sailors and their lizard, the three Dragons, two
Seals, and Tetsu (but no tree of any kind).  It made him feel--rather odd.

>Twelve days of Christmas, blah blah blah. ^_^;

Almost like they were all part of something significant.  "We're going to
imagine a personification of the timelines, that we can then talk to and
convince to help us."
    Matsuro blinked.  "What?" Keiko asked.
    "What the hell are you talking about?" Mariko demanded.
    "Of course!" Koohii suddenly shouted.
    Tsuriai, as Matsuro now remembered the priest's name was, waved his hands
to quiet down the swelling conversation.  "Just do it, as the saying goes," he
said.  "It'll all work out."  He smiled indulgently.

>Yes, he's quoting Nike's ad campaigns...

    Matsuro frowned.  Then Keiko leaned up and whispered in his ear.  "I think
it might work.  I read about this in one of my books."  He turned to look at
her and saw a near-pleading expression.  "Please?" she asked.  "Just try, for
me?"
    At that Matsuro did smile.  "Okay."  Then he held her up as she swooned.
    "Concentrate."  The priest's voice was beginning to drone.  "Concentrate."
    Matsuro put out of his mind the swelling tide of discontent and furrowed
his brow.  Actually, one time in the past he had been able to influence this
dream-world.  So it didn't seem far-fetched, really.  He concentrated and
suddenly had a picture of a number of lines of energy, stretching through an
endless space.  If they were timelines, all he had to do was make them appear
*here*, in a sort of group...
    There were gasps.  Matsuro opened his eyes to find everyone's head turned
the same way.  They were all watching...a little glowing cluster of lines.
Pink lines, floating about head high in the air.  In fact, there were two
glowing spots of light that might serve for eyes.
    "It looks like a Koosh ball," Keiko murmured.  "A huge glowing one."
    "Well done," Tsuriai said.  Karen was watching in amazement.  "Now we need
a name for him--or it, whichever."  The lights seemed to blink.
    "Koosh," Keiko giggled.
    "Fragsnazzle?" the oni suggested.

>As I said, Mark Moore contributed this name...though not for this character.

    "U-kun," Hanko said, smiling.

>As sort of a reference to T-kun...

    "Destroyer of Souls," Mariko contributed.  She blinked at the looks the
others gave her.  "What?"
    "Bob?"
    "Phoebe?"
    "Gwyneth?"
    "The Amazing Timeline Guy?"
    "Eblis O'Shaughnessy?"

>This is a reference to the Wake story of Sandman. It's really hard to explain
>if you haven't read it. "Eblis O'Shaughnessy", that is.

    "Koosh," Matsuro found himself saying.  "Keiko was first."
    "Good enough," Karen said, rolling her eyes.  Matsuro shrugged off the
looks he was getting.
    "And now..."  Tsuriai coughed.  "Ahem.  I believe I have found the last of
the Ba--I mean, the last of Genbu's Champions."  He approached the floating
ball of energy, holding up a cloth bundle.
    "Wait a sec!" Mariko snapped.  "We just, create this guy, and suddenly
he's one of *your* people?"  The other Dark Sailors nodded, frowning.
    "Actually, it *is* in the script," Karen said as Tsuriai shook out the
cloth, then draped it below the floating pink ball.  Somehow it formed the
shape of large shoulders, or perhaps a suit of armor with such.  The eyes
followed Tsuriai as he stepped back to survey his handiwork.

>One point here: You were supposed to think that Tsuriai had some sort of
>Weapon of Duality wrapped in cloth. Only the cloth itself was the Cloak of
>Duality.

    "And now, at last with your Cloak of Duality, you are here with us,
Koosh," he intoned.
    Pinkish lights flared behind the cloak, forming strange patterns.
    "*Yes*."

>Okay, with the floating cloak and flashing lights, this guy is a reference to
>*Kosh* from Babylon 5.

    Matsuro blinked.  "Uh--Koosh.  So, what do we do now?"
    The lights flared again.
    "*The avalanche has already started.  It is too late for the pebbles to
vote*."

>That's a fairly famous Kosh line. In fact, almost everything Koosh says is an
>actual line Kosh says.

    Matsuro raised an eyebrow.  Tsuriai sweatdropped.  "But surely there is
some way to turn back time, as was promised.
    The lights flashed in a different pattern.
    "*Understanding is a three-edged sword*."
    "This is going to take a while, isn't it?" Keiko muttered.
    Once again, the lights flashed on the floating cloak.
    "*You have a question*?"
    "Can we turn back time so that the right destiny takes place?" Matsuro
asked.
    The lights made pretty patterns on the fabric.
    "*Yes*."
    "Well, great.  Then let's go help stuff go right."  Matsuro hoisted his
sword and the Banner, and tugged Keiko gently to the exit.
    "Wait!  Uh--"  Tsuriai licked his lips as he watched the others beginning
to file off.  He looked back at Koosh.  "Is this going to work?" he asked.
    And again, the lights flickered in thoughtful patterns.
    "*Be careful what you wish for*."

>I don't think Kosh ever said that specifically, but it's not too far out.

    Tsuriai bowed, holding back a sweatdrop, and turned to scamper back to the
portal with the others.
    Karen exhaled, then noticed Tetsu still standing by her desk, looking
around with a frown on her face.  "This reminds me of something," he said.
"You know, the legend about the Stars oomph!"
    "What's wrong with him?" Mariko asked as Karen dragged the doubled-over
Tetsu to the portal.
    "Oh, just a momentary, he'll be fine soon," Karen chattered, throwing the
Mason bodily into the portal.  "Bye!  Have fun!"  She waved until the portal
closed, then sighed and turned back.  "Oh, yeah.  108 Stars running around,
that's ALL we needed."

>The point is that Tetsu is thinking of the 108 Stars of the Suikoden games.

>Which might imply 108 MORE characters for the series...

=====

    Time twisted in on itself, collapsing and wrapping the entire planet in a
pocket of temporal fabric.  Then a massive surge of mystical energy thrust the
world back, spinning it in reverse, people dancing like puppets in the cities
and countries as they whizzed back through the motions they had just been
performing.  And then the bubble burst, the planet slipped back into the
timestream with a great shudder of reality.  It made no sound that mortal ears
could hear...but if it did, it might be said to sound something along the
lines of...
    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

>Now all this was inspired by...Groundhog Day.

    The Baron crept up to the ruins of the statue.  Tears ran down his cheeks,
but he paid them no mind.  The rest of the pathetic do-gooders were occupied
with their fallen comrades.  None noticed his stealthy advance.
    He had sacrificed everything for this moment.  All those years, those
millennia, his kingdom, his life, and now even his Yalena had been taken from
him.  And now...now it would not go in vain.
    The Baron's hands were suddenly stepped on by a rather weighty shoe,
eliciting a hiss of pain.  He looked up and into the eyes of Sakyou.
    The Harbringer sneered.  "I *don't* think so."

=====

    The eldritch forces of the Elder and Outer Gods swarmed over the globe,
looting and pillaging.  The seas boiled, men shouted and killed and revelled
in chaos, many movies starring Saturday Night Live stars were filmed.
    In short, the world ended.

>This was one of the endings in the poll...'Cthulhu and Shub-Niggurath destroy
>the world'.

=====

    GOOD.  AND NOW HGGK!
    The office woman slumped in her chair, and the rest of the cultists gaped
at the startlingly clean man who stepped out from the shadows.  Yoi Maeda
smiled.  "To quote Alexander Haig--'I'm in charge here!'"  He cackled.
    "Who?"
    "Shut up."  Then he stiffened.  The cultists shuffled back nervously as
their new 'leader' rose into the air, dirty white light streaming from him.
    YOU WANT TO LEAD? the voice boomed from his lips.  BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU
WISH FOR.  His head twisted in odd angles.  "Yes," he said.  YES.  "Now--to
the Darkverse!"  ONCE WE HAVE ESTABLISHED OURSELVES THERE, THE ENTIRE FABRIC
OF THIS PLANET'S REALITY WILL BE SUBVERTED!

>This was one of the endings in the poll...'Yoi Maeda takes over
>Shub-Niggurath and takes over the world'.

=====

    The thin fabric separating the Darkverse and Earth tore completely in
several places at once.  Monsters and cultists swarmed over the drab
landscape.
    Aki whirled as the door to the Waiting Room burst open, and several goat
monsters just like the ones already there burst in.  She, and the other
occupants of the room, screamed.

>This was why Shub-Niggurath was trying to get to the Darkverse. She can
>totally control the cycle of life and death if this happens.

=====

    "What the hell happened?" Mariko snapped.
    Lights flickered over the cloak.
    "*You have forgotten something*."
    Matsuro rolled his eyes.  "Can we try again?"
    Pink paisley patterns played prettily.

>Yes, I was going for alliteration. No, there was no real reason.

    "*Yes*."
    "Fine, let's go."
    "I have a bad feeling about this," Keiko muttered.

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

    Yoi Maeda crept through the tunnels of Shub-Niggurath's hideout.  This
time he would finally--
    A kick to the midsection stopped him in his tracks, and then he was
suddenly encased in translucent crystal.
    Ayesse brushed off his hands.  "Been waiting to do that for a *long*
time."

=====

    Somewhere in the Pacific, a dark island rose from the sea.  Horrible
creatures frolicked happily on its impossibly angled slopes.  Above it all the
true form of Cthulhu rose, roaring mightily.  A wave of madness swept over the
globe.

>It's R'lyeh, with the true form of Cthulhu.

=====

    "Damn it all to hell!" Mariko raged.
    "Holy crap," Keiko said.  "What can we do about Cthulhu?"
    "You'd need like a nuclear bomb or something," Tetsu noted.
    Matsuro blinked.  "Hmmm.  I wonder if Becky..."

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

    *BOOM*
    Becky winced.  "I *knew* someone should have taken care of the Russian
nuclear stockpiles," she muttered as flames consumed the planet.
    "Somebody set up us the bomb!" Hanaki squealed.

>Obligatory Zero Wing reference.

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

>At this point we don't bother with how this stuff comes about, and just throw
>in random endings.

    "At last!"  Byakko cackled.  "The worlds are destroyed!"
    "Whoa," Kireiko said.  "'Heavy, dude'.  So..." he peered sidelong at
Hanaki.  "Do we get to, uh, repopulate it now?"
    "No, actually we get destroyed too."
    "What?!?  Hey, 'screw this', man!"

>"Byakko and his Champions are victorious"

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

    "But WHY can't the Darkverse take over the Earth?" Charity whined.
    -Sorry, Charity Darkness Vengeance-

>"The Darkverse takes over the Earth"

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

    Koji thrust the sword into Matsuro's back.
    "You can't be the One--you're a boy."
    Matsuro slumped to his knees as he watched Mariko hacking at the gate with
his Sword of Duality.
    "Whatever."

>Parody of the final two episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena.

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

    Suzaku cackled.
    "And now, with the help of our friends the Bavarian Illuminati, the Masons
will take over the world!  OOOOOOHOHOHOHOOO!!!"

>I know whoever thought up 'Masons' was thinking of Freemasons and conspiracy
>theories, so...I also enjoy Suzaku suddenly being totally UNLIKE how everyone
>thought she was. And of course this is "Suzaku and her Champions win".
 
=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

    Tejina stared at the huge naked form of Ayame, towering over the planet,
pale skin shining eerily against the darkened sky.  "I never thought it would
end this way..."
    "I did," Becky said.
    "You watch too much anime."  Tejina turned and blinked at Kireiko standing
over the unconscious form of Hanaki.  "Kireiko, what the hell are you DOING?"

>End of Evangelion, of course.

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

>This is all Serial Experiments Lain stuff. Also the "The real world
>integrates with the Wired" poll choice.

    Koji stared at the Navi, its innards spread around the room behind him, in
some cases becoming the structure of the room itself.  The world of the Wired
expanded around him, becoming reality.  This was the one truth of the world,
the real world, its God now made manifest.  His perceptions expanded to
encompass a great battlefield populated with icons representing the
combatants.
    "What the heck happened?!?" an SD face with blue hair squeaked.
    "I think we took the red pill," a face with multicolored hair and
sunglasses said.

>Red pill, reference to The Matrix.

    A green miasma spread through the virtual space, red eyes gleaming at the
center.  It was met by a fuzzy dark image that flickered between a caprine
face and a gaping...orifice of some kind.

>That's Cthulhu and Shub-Niggurath (a god of demonic fertility).

    "The real world and the Wired have become one," a girl in a full-body
lemur suit said emotionlessly.

>That's supposed to be Lain. She wears animal costumes in Serial Experiments
>Lain. Not a lemur costume as such, but I like lemurs.

    -This is not an acceptable alternative either-
    "Wow, this is too freaky!" yet another little face, this one with purple
hair, squeaked.  "What are we?!?"
    "We're all represented by icons," a shaggy-haired face said.

>Chiang.

    "Icons?  You mean we're all holy artifacts of the Crystal Kingdom?" the
blue face asked.
    -We dislike this type of humor-

=====

And now, the first paragraph of that last scene translated from English into
French and back into English!

=====

    Koji has looked at Navi, its innards drawn aside around the room behind
him, in certain cases becoming the structure of the it-same room.  The world
of cable increased around him, becoming reality.  It was one truth of the
world, the true world, its God now returned proclamation.  Its perceptions
increased to surround a large battle field populated with graphics
representing the combatants.

>I have no idea why I did this. Seriously. ^_^;

=====

    *KSHPLURNT*

=====

    "I hope this works," Matsuro muttered.
    "Oh well.  At least we get to spend the end of the world together, even if
it is more times than we anticipated."  Keiko smiled.
    Matsuro smiled back.  "Wait, I need to count.  5, 4, 3..."  Matsuro ran
down the count in his head, then whipped around the corner and stabbed a
passerby in the stomach.
    The man smiled.  "Mom always did like you best."  He fell to the sidewalk
and died.
    Matsuro wiped his forehead.  "Well, so much for Cain.  What next?"

>"If you meet your brother Cain on the road, kill him".

    Keiko was looking off into the distance, moving her lips silently.
Suddenly she threw back her head and yelled "POPCORN!!!"  Another passerby
yelped and ran off.
    "Popcorn?"  Matsuro raised an eyebrow.
    Keiko giggled.  "Why not?"

>This is kind of a reference to Grosse Pointe Blank, where Dan Akroyd shouts
>"Popcorn!" for no reason (other than his own mental instability).

=====

    "Okay...is that it?"
    Tejina looked around at her gathered friends.  Friends, enemies and
everything in between, in fact.  From Seals and Harbringers to Darkverse
Generals and reformed cultists, and just plain band members, everyone was
here.  It was enough to make her feel nervous.
    Chiang was going down a checklist.  "Cthulhu, Shub-Niggurath, nuclear war,
neural network, Cain, blah blah, we still have to round up the rest of the
monsters and cultists but that's okay, blah blah blah blah..."  He finally
looked up at her.  "Only one thing left."
    "Reuniting the worlds.  Right."  She looked to her right and left.  Becky
and Aki stepped up, holding the Emblem and Banner respectively, while she held
the Icon.  Aki's halo still gave Tejina a shock, but she was dealing with it.
They stretched out their hands...

>Aki has a halo because she died, of course. Kinda like in DBZ.

    "Wait!"  Zathras scrambled up, and Tejina sighed.
    "What NOW?"
    "Must have all Weapons of Duality," he wheezed.
    "But we do," Becky said.  "Look, the Masons and Seals and everyone."
There were murmurs from the crowd.
    Zathras shook his head.  "Must have four Wildcards."
    "But we--"  Becky frowned.  "Wait, me, Aki, Villyn and his runed armor,
and..."

>Everyone catch that? Villyn is a Wildcard with the Armor of Duality!

>...and...damn. That should have been *Keiko*, not Aki...Keiko has the
>Cleaver of Duality.

    "Great," Tejina snapped.  "Just GREAT.  We'll have to go through this
whole thing--"
    "Wait!" a voice called.  Everyone turned to see one of Villyn's Minions
scurrying up to them.
    "What is it, Unnamed Minion?" Aki asked.  Tejina rolled her eyes.  Yeah,
that was real creative.

>Of course, *I* named him the Unnamed Minion...

    "I'm the final Wildcard," he said.  He sounded like he was smiling, but it
was hard to tell.
    "Really?" Zathras asked, looking the Minion up and down.  "You have Object
of Duality?"
    "Yep!  Right here!"  He held out his hand.
    Zathras gave a look, then nodded.  "Hmmm, yes, good."

>Notice we don't actually *see* the whatever-it-is.

    Tejina threw up her hands.  "Fine!  Are we ready then?  Great!"  Becky
giggled, and Aki smiled.  Tejina realized she had to smile too; finally, after
all this time, it was going to be over.
    The Three who were One put their hands together, and all the watching
beings linked hands (or reasonable approximations thereof), and--it felt like
something vast and deep was stirring.  A pureness that touched all of them,
and spread to the rest of the world.  At once serene and fiery, devious and
tranquil, the spirit of humanity held the two worlds and made them one.

=====

    "Okay, good.  Now for some...cleanup."  Keiko raised her cleaver, only a
little disappointed that the runes had disappeared, and a distinct mechanical
readying sound emanated from the Quake Camper's rocket launcher.  They shared
a grin.

=====

    Becky blew smoke from her gun, and smiled at Koji, who smiled back.  She
noticed T-kun watching her as well, and sighed.
    Hanko tapped T-kun on the shoulder.  "Ne, T-kun."
    "Yes, what is it Hanko-san?"
    As he turned, Hanko grabbed him and kissed him soundly.  Becky gaped.
Then, after a moment, she had to giggle, then blushed.  After some initial
struggling, T-kun seemed quite amenable.  She looked away, and noticed Yukiko
staring at Koji as well, and sighed.  Somehow, the world was never easy.

=====

    "You know, you fight pretty well," Mariko said.  And she smiled.
    "You too," Scotch averred.  Mermaid giggled.
    [This has possibilities,] Yumeki thought, smiling happily.

>Yumeki is obsessed with sex and such. That's all I'm saying.

=====

    "Okay...NOW will you help rebuild the world?" Suzaku asked.
    "Um, okay.  I will, I promise.  But I have things to take care of first.
It won't take long, really."  Aoryuu rubbed the back of his head, and then
disappeared.
    Suzaku sighed, then smiled and turned to her Masons.  "And how are you all
doing?"
    "Just fine, Suzaku-sama," Amano said, measuring twice.
    "Pretty good, Suzaku-sama," Sansuke said, cutting once.
    "I thought that was just an expression," Kensuke said.
    Nanami growled as she hammered a post into the ground.  She appeared to be
finding it very therapeutic, as a whole bunch of aggression was being worked
out.  Then she stopped, wiped her forehead, looked around and scowled.  "Has
anyone seen Haruka?"

>Notice that all the Five Gods kinda got what they wanted. Aoryuu preserved
>the world, Seiryuu got it destroyed and reborn, it was healed for Suzaku, and
>Byakko...well, whatever.

=====

    Haruka swallowed, once again wishing she had a drink.  "It's...good to see
you again, Nemesis," she said.
    Villyn looked down at her, his face thoughtful.  "And you."  He coughed.
    And then the Queen of the Earth smiled at her.  "And it was so nice to
meet you, Haruka-san," she said.

>Notice that Charity is now Queen of the Earth.

    "Be nice, Charity-chan," Villyn rumbled.  The Queen blushed.
    Haruka sighed.  "I was--a was a fool to let go of you," she managed.  Then
she was surprised as Villyn stepped forward and embraced her.
    "We were both fools," he murmured.  "But that was a long time ago."
    "Yes," she whispered.  "Yes, a long time."  She blinked, and held onto him
just a bit longer before pushing away.  She smiled.  "I should let you two go.
I suppose you have administrative duties to attend to."
    "A few," Charity said.  Then she blinked as Haruka grabbed her arm and
pulled.  "What--"
    "Just a moment alone, please, Nemesis," Haruka said, smiling at the new
King of the Earth.  Villyn blinked, but then nodded.  She pulled the Queen a
few meters away.

>And Villyn is King. He finally managed to take it over. That *was* the choic
>that won in the poll, after all.

    Charity snatched her hand back.  "That's no way to treat--"
    "I'm sorry.  Really.  Just--"  She waved a hand.  After a moment, the
Queen leaned over, and they put their heads together.  "Don't let him get
away," Haruka murmured.
    The Queen stared.  Then a smile grew on her face.  "Oh, I don't intend
to."
    "Because it takes a while for a woman to realize how wonderful he is--"
she glanced back at the armored figure--"but once they do...If you let him go,
someone will be there to take him."
    The Queen raised an eyebrow.  "Someone like you?"
    Haruka smiled.  "Perhaps."
    They regarded each other for a moment, then walked back to Villyn
together.  "Goodbye, Nemesis," Haruka said.  "Or should I call you Villyn-
sama?"
    "Yes, you should," he rumbled.  Then laughed.  "But for you, I can make an
exception."
    "I'm glad.  Well...you know."  She fidgeted.
    The Queen took Villyn's arm.  "Come dear, we must be going.  It was nice
meeting you."
    The Mason waved until they turned a corner.  Then she turned back to her
fellows, brushing her hand against her eyes.

=====

    Chiang frowned.  "Wait a minute.  Where did that guy go--the manga artist,
what was his name?  With the pen?"
    "Zathras think he was caught in temporal flux," Zathras asserted.  "Thrown
backwards or forwards in time, not know which.  Very far, most likely."
    "Oh, him?" Tsuriai said.  "His name was Shiao."  He laughed long and hard
and Chiang's expression.

>The whole point is that Shiao, the manga artist guy, got to witness the end
>of the world and hear about all the stuff that had happened before...and then
>he got sent back in time to become the Advisor Shiao and write the original
>Prophecies.

>After all, SOMEONE had to.

>...and it should be "at Chiang's expression". But we all knew that...

=====

    Tejina lay back on the grass and sighed.  The sky was blue and clear, with
just a couple of fluffy clouds.  Even the pollution had been scoured away,
something about it moving to enhance the atmosphere of the Darkverse.  She
wasn't quite sure whether that meant "air" or "feeling", but lots of people
seemed to be happy about it.  She was still trying to get used to the idea of
Aki being the Queen of the Darkverse, and in fact the whole thing of the
Darkverse being the land of the dead, but it seemed to be making things a
whole lot easier.  Anyone who had the misfortune to be caught in the crossfire
of the recent battle could simply be visited in the Darkverse, although they
couldn't leave.  She still hadn't figured out exactly how the new geography
worked, but fortunately the taxi drivers had.  Everyone just seemed to be
taking things rather well, and in fact the whole world was just all-around
happier.

>I tried to explain, at least a little, the whole reuniting and connection
>between the two worlds. I think it's nice to have a lot of it left to one's
>imagination, though.

>I like the line about the taxi drivers, though. It seems suitably random.

    "Tejina!"  Tejina sat up and smiled as she saw Ayame waving to her.  Ayame
and--Amanamuro the Harbringer, arm in arm, with Aoryuu walking a bit behind.
She blinked.
    "Um, hi," she said as they approached.  "How are things?"
    "Oh, things are great!"  Ayame beamed and squeezed Amanamuro's arm,
eliciting a blush from him.
    Tejina felt a sweatdrop break out on her head.  "Ayame--you and he, are
you...um..."

>Oh no...here we go again!

    Ayame took a breath.
    "During the recent intense and apocalyptic events that we went through I
spent much time with Amanamuro-kun, supporting him through battles, being
rescued by him from malevolent enemies, providing the Harbringers with the
benefit of my extensive knowledge and expositionary powers, even if they
didn't always seem to appreciate it, but I know I helped anyway, and that's
what matters, camping out with Amanamuro-kun under the stars, and there was
that incident where we visited the Darkverse, but I suppose that's not really
appropriate for discussion in polite company, and through it all I felt,
slowly but surely, a bond forming between him and myself, a bond forged in
sacrifice and combat, a bond of blood, sweat and proverbial tears, and even
though those relationships which are formed under stress are not supposed to
last long, like they said at the end of that movie starring Keanu Reeves, poor

>"Speed"...the actual lines are something like, "Relationships formed under
>stress never work out." "Then we'll just have to base it on sex."

guy, I still feel a connection to Amanamuro-kun which transcends the
boundaries of our mutual eldritch origins and which I am confident will
support a happy and loving relationship between us for a long time to come!"
    Tejina stared blankly.
    Amanamuro blushed.  "You didn't have to mention that time in the
Darkverse," he muttered.
    Ayame beamed and glomped the Harbringer.  "See?  He LISTENS!"

>The point (and this was set up in the last chapter) is that Amanamuro manages
>to find something in the middle of Ayame's speech to comment upon.

>This proves to Ayame that he actually listens to what she's saying. Wow!

    Tejina fell over.
    After a few moments she recovered, sitting up and watching the happy
couple walk away.  Bits of conversation drifted back to her.
    "Poor guy?  Why poor guy?"
    "He can't act."

>Hi, Phoebe!

    "Tejina."
    Tejina blinked and looked up at Aoryuu.  "Oh my god!"  She giggled.
"Sorry.  Um, just a joke.  What is it?"
    Aoryuu sighed and sat down next to her.  "I have something to tell you."
    Tejina studied the deity next to her.  In his human form, he was dressed
in casual clothing, with long green hair.  He looked kind of bishounen, and
also familiar somehow.  She'd never noticed it before, but..."Sure, what is
it?"
    The dragon god looked her in the eyes, piercing her with an intense stare.
"Did you ever--ever wonder who your father was?"
    Tejina's eyes widened.  "Well--yes.  I mean...I guess I have to accept
that Ayame *was* my mother, sort of, but now isn't the same any more.  But...I
always wondered who..."  She trailed off.
    Aoryuu looked at her.
    Tejina blinked.
    Aoryuu stared more intently.
    Tejina's eyes widened.
    Aoryuu started to relax.
    Tejina raised her hand to her mouth.  "You--you--you--you've gotta be
kidding!"
    "Um, not really."  He ran one hand through his hair, looking away.  "It's
true.  I assumed mortal form in order to, uh, create the destined chosen ones
and such.  It's something you just have to do when you're a god."

>This is very Campbellian. Not to mention, uh, Lucasian.

    Tejina stared.  "D...dad?"
    "NO!"
    Both heads turned to see a short, cute woman with red hair standing near
them.  Suzaku's face screwed up.  "Aoryuu--my Aoryuu!  You didn't!  You have
children and you never told me?"
    Aoryuu blinked and opened his mouth.
    "I feel so USED!  WAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"  Suzaku turned and ran, bawling.
    "Suzaku, wait!  I didn't mean it, like--"  Aoryuu got up, then turned and
gave her a flustered look.  "We, uh, we'll talk about this later, Tejina."  He
turned back.  "Suzaku!"
    Tejina gaped.
    "Hey Tejina!"  Kireiko ran up.  "Hanaki and I are going on a cruise.  Just
thought you should know."

>Remember what happened when Villyn and the Queen did that?

    "Hey Tejina."  Matsuro appeared behind Kireiko, nodding to her.  "We just
got contacted by other worlds.  The other worlds who were behind the whole
Kingdom of Obscurity thing.  They want to talk about the Dark Gem."

>There *were* other worlds, that was pointed out a couple of chapters ago.

    "Hey, Tejina!"  Sakyou jogged up.  "We just got in some reports of the
Baron!  Apparently he's not dead after all!"
    "Hey, Tejina."  One of the Seals, Daichi his name was, she recalled,
popped up.  "I just wanted to let you know, uh, I love you!" he blurted out.
Sakyou looked at him like he was insane.

>I never addressed that, so I stuck it here.

    "Hey, Tejina!"  Becky appeared, holding a green silk gown up to herself.
"Does this make me look fat?"
    Tejina stared.

=====

THE END!

=====

...or is it just a new beginning?

=====

Author's Note

...holy crap.  Holy Meretzky, Jittlov and Jenkins, where the hell do I even
begin?

>Steve Meretzky was one of the founders of Infocom. Mike Jittlov is the Wizard
>of Speed and Time, and wrote/directed/starred in/did special effects and
>wrote music for the film of the same name. Also Henry Jenkins is a Professor
>of Media Studies at MIT. All three are very interesting men, whom I admire.

Well, I guess I have to start at the beginning.  Thanks to all the people who
contributed to Do-Gooders--I've always felt it's much more easier for me to
work with what's already there, than to come up with new stuff.  (And you'll
notice only one real new character was created in this chapter.)  So all the
credit for my ideas really goes to the previous authors.  I have stood on the
shoulders of giants, as it were (although that was really Isaac Newton's joke
at the expense of a short colleague, but whatever).  So, in order from the
beginning, the VERY beginning, here they are:

Stefan Gagne (Twoflower)
Ash (!)

>Ash was rather notorious for a while. That's why the ! is there. It's kinda
>hard to explain, actually.

Andy Kent
Mal
Alan Harnum
Will McDuff
B.S.D.
Steven Scougall
Jonatan Streith
Vidstudent
Yasha
Delfina
Phoebe
J.M.Steadman
Lawrence Chu
Chandra Rooney
Emily Robertson
Kimberli McClanahan
Clint Milton
Mark Elliot
Signus Megido
Mervyn the Wonder Slug
Kate Malloy
Vidstudent
and of course...myself.

>I'll be darned. I listed Vidstudent twice. ...Well, hey, err on the side of
>caution and all. (I didn't want to leave anyone *out*, after all...)

I'd now like to apologize to all the people who offered to preread for me, but
couldn't because I left everything until the last minute.  Sorry, all.  I
believe that includes Jonatan Streith, Steven Scougall, Kate Malloy, Dave
Menendez, Philip Barkow, Phoebe and Nicholas Eckert/vidstudent.  I'd also like
to thank Todd Harper for being a patient admin, and Mark Moore/Sidhe for
giving me 'Fragsnazzle'.  And thanks to Jonatan again for his DG #28 episode
title that I...'adapted'.  Thanks to the vim people too, on whose Windows
program I wrote this entire chapter.  Whee.  And thanks to Yasha and the DGML,
which provided the ending poll with all its interesting ideas.  All of which I
placed into this chapter.  (I also tried to mention all the characters, which
resulted in some...interesting situations.)  Thanks also to AltaVista for
their Babelfish translation site.

There's way too many jokes to credit here.  Watch for DG #61 Exposed, coming
soon to Beware the Radish! (http://www.chaoseed.com/btr)

>Guess what!


As always, I am John Evans, jevans@alum.mit.edu.  Goodnight all, and may you
dream well.

John
11/8/01


Classic DG Lines
    "It doesn't matter," said Ayame.  "Matsuro and Tejina both
disappeared recently.  We suspect the Seals have captured them,
because--"
    "The Seals!"
    "Or someone claiming to be the Seals," put in Becky.  "We
can't be certain they weren't lying, or that the vision Hanaki
and Ayame saw was accurate, or, indeed, that reality itself is
not an illusion created by powers unknown for purposes we cannot
fathom."
    The other teens gaped.  Even Yoruko seemed taken aback.  "I
think you may be taking your paranoia a bit far," said Hanaki.
    "Sorry.  I'm a little on edge."
DG #31


    "That's what I said," said Ayame.
    "That's not all you said," Kahi totally failed to say.
DG #60


    "Despairing Mood Stealer!" Sailor Despair called out.  Her gray cloud
enveloped Spike.
    Spike laughed.  "Girl, don't you know I feed on the blackest emotions?
Don't you know I thrive on despair?"
    "Well, crap," was her only reply.
DG #58


  The Minion coughed a few times. "No, no problem. I just..." He lowered
his voice. "Is she always like that?"

  "Hasami?" Hanko replied, lowering her own voice. "She's a nice person
once you get to know her."

  "Really?"

  "No, not really."
DG #43


    Vuudu and Malaise popped into existence again.
    Malaise looked around.  "Where are we now?"
    Vuudu stared grimly.  "Darkness, punctured by flashing lights...horrible
noises, bodies writhing...it can only be one place."
    "You don't mean..."
    "Yes.  The Darkverse Disco."
DG #34


  "Kids these days, eh?" the Baron commented.

  Chiang raised an eyebrow. "You should speak... but, yes. In my days,
we didn't have magical swords with DESTINIES. We used plain ordinary
iron swords, and had to be happy with that."

  Stagner grinned, and took a sip from his coffee. "You know, that's
probably the most 'old fogey'-style comment I've ever heard."

  "Oh, shut up."
DG#28


This is where things become slightly complex.

When you're finished laughing bitterly, we'll continue.

Thank you.

DG#53


    Charity called to them from the house.  "Come on in for tea," said the
elegant Queen of the DarkVerse, smiling evilly.  "We have much to talk about,
I hear."
    Mariko winced.  "Oh.............$#!+."
DG #57


=====

    "--and that's how it ended."
    Ayame surveyed her audience.  "Oh.  I guess they were tired."

>See, a run-on sentence.

>That's it for that one, then.