===== CEPHIED ===== Chapter 2: First Steps ===== started by John Evans, jevans@alum.mit.edu Jonatan Streith, a99jonst@student.his.se Steven Scougall, s_scougall@mailandnews.com Kate Malloy, kamalloy@home.net Phoebe, keh36@student.canterbury.ac.nz a Beware the Radish production http://www.chaoseed.com/btr/ ===== Meanwhile, in another part of the forest... Former SPCA spokesperson and now professional adventuress Rayza was busy setting a dispute between four forest-dwelling monsters and herself, on the subject of who would be their lunch. She had chosen to use diplomacy. Two of the creatures were already cooling on the ground. "URGH!" one of the remaining monsters not-really-said, getting a heavy boot in its face. A second later, Rayza plunged the sharp end of her blade into its belly. It died with a pathetic "GWAAR!" sound. Considering her distracted, the last monster tried to sneak up on her, and lunged at her back with its furry limbs. However just before it connected, she ducked out of the way, and snagged its legs with her long, reptilian tail. The monster landed heavily on its back. "You're pathetic, you know that?" Rayza swung her oversized weapon around for the finishing blow, then paused. "...nah." She gave it a kick in the side. "It's just not worth it. Go home, you worthless excuse of a wandering monster. Come back when you're actually a challenge." The monster, suddenly showing considerable intelligence, quickly crawled away. "Well, that was a pathetic fight." She wiped off the blood from her weapon, and slung it on her back as usual. "God, is there no civilization *anywhere* around here? If I'll have to sleep outside another night, I'm gonna SCREAM!" As if a particularily benevolent deity had suddenly heard her, Rayza noticed a faint light in the distance. Civilization? People? She decided to find out. === "What was so incredible about a flash of light?" asked Lilipea, blinking her eyes. "It certainly wasn't The Recipe," groused Dale. "That was no *ordinary* flash of light," explained Tyler. "According to the Claire Bibles, that was a flash of Legendary Lost Light!" "...I see," said Dale. "What's so amazing about the Legendary Lost Light?" "Well, it calls to the love of legend in one's soul, and if that person is lost then they shall not be so for much longer. See? We won't be stumbling around searching for your recipe much longer! And then I'll find the legendary lost treasure of Niflurthup that I've been searching for for so long!" So saying, the man took off his wide brimmed hat and threw in the air with a whoop of joy. And there was rejoicing. Lilipea, for some reason, didn't join in. "Excuse me," asked Lilipea, "what about me? Won't I find something too?" "I'm sure you will," said Tyler. "What were looking for again?" "I want to be the best and most scantily-clad chef in the world!" she declaimed, fist clenched in front of her. "AHAHOHO!" she tried. The two men shuddered, trying not to think of the obvious comparison. "Lilipea, girl," said Dale, "Try not to laugh like that. It just does't work." "Excuse me," said a new voice. The three travellers looked up and saw a woman with a very large sword. It was strapped to her back, and her clothes were splatted with blood. They stared. Following their gaze, the woman looked down and saw the eyeball nestled in the folds of her shirt. "Honestly," she said, flicking the eyeball away. "Haven't you ever seen a fighting woman before? And are there any nice inns around here? I really don't want to sleep outside another night." "Sorry, but no," said Tyler. "The nearest inn is two days away, in Sailerk." Rayza, for it was she, raised an eyebrow. "Sailerk?" "It was going to be called Sailoomis, but the naming ceremony got cut off when the Namer's head did." And there was much saying of "I... see." == "Well, I suppose I'd better head to Sailerk, then," Rayza said. "Goodbye!" "Wait!" Dale called. "You know, we could really use the help of another experienced adventurer!" From underneath his hat, Tyler muttered, "Oh, and what am I? Chopped liver?" Rayza raised one eybrow at Dale. Then she caught sight of Lilipea's, erm, outfit and raised the other. "May I ask exactly what you're searching for?" "The Recipe," Dale stated reverently. "A recipe. Right. I think I'll be going to Sailerk now," Rayza answered. "Aww, don't go!" Lilipea cried in a disappointed tone. "It'll be so much fun! You can help Dale find his Recipe, and Tyler his treasures, and me my-" "Treasure?" Rayza interrupted. "Did you say treasure?" Tyler glared at the back of Lilipea's head. "Well, that's different, then." Rayza jumped down from the large rock she was standing on (if she wasn't standing on one before, she was now) and landed in front of the group. "Rayza. Pleased to make your acquaintance." The others introduced themselves (Tyler more reluctantly than Dale and Lilipea) and soon the group was heading back into the woods. "So, um, Miss Rayza? Pardon me for being a bit nosy, but exactly what were you fighting before?" Dale asked, noting Rayza's rather untidy appearance. "I had a disagreement with a few monsters," Rayza stated matter-of-factly. "Monsters?" Lilipea shrieked. She grabbed Tyler by the shoulders and shook him, nearly dislodging his hat. "You didn't say anything about monsters around here!" Tyler sighed. "Look, you don't just go wandering around looking for legendary lost treasures, recipes, etc. without running into a few monsters! It's traditional!" Just then, the group heard an ominous growling from the woods ahead. "And I suppose the risk of being eaten alive is traditional as well," Dale remarked as Rayza drew her sword. "It's getting closer," Lilipea whispered in a scared tone. -- "Gwar!" The sound echoed through the woods, causing Lilipea to clutch Tyler even closer and scream like a frightened teenager. The annoyed adventurer peeled her off him with one hand and held her at arm's length, using the other arm to heft his mace in preparation. Rayza lifted an eyebrow. "Excitable, isn't she?" she inquired as another deep growl rang out. "Tell me about it," Tyler growled. He thrust the terrified girl at Dale. "Here. You look after her." "Gwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!" Whatever was making the sound was definitely moving towards them now, no doubt alerted by Lilipea's squeals. "Me?" Dale asked, holding up his hands in protest. "Why do *I* ERK-" "Savemesavemesaveme!" Lilipea gabbled, burrowing her head into Dale's chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. "It's a big ugly monster and it's going to eat me! I came to learn how to *cook* dinner, not *be* it!" Dale blinked furiously, struggling to breath through the strangling grip she had on his throat. 'Hey, this isn't all that bad,' one part of his mind grinned, winking salaciously. The other, considerably more practical part, merely screamed "AIR!" "GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!" A heavy thud rang out, the sound of a very large, very nasty creature taking a very large step. Then another. Lilipea let out one final terrified scream and prepared herself for death. Not only for herself but for Dale and Tyler and Rayza. Lilipea's big heart encompassed all of them and mourned their passing with hers. It was horrible! They were all going to be torn limb from limb, their heads crunched, their limbs scattered! They were never going to conclude their quest, instead struck down in the prime of their mostly youth! They were... laughing? That was unexpected. Lilipea cautiously cracked one eye open. "Is... is everything okay?" she inquired, voice trembling. "Awwww!" Rayza cooed. "Kootchy kootchy koo!" That didn't sound like the terrified screams of a woman bloodied and torn, so Lilipea opened her other eye and released her hold on Dale. (Most of him was relieved. Part of him was terribly disappointed, but the rest of him gave that part a good kick.) She turned to face the rest of the adventueres. "Look!" Rayza said proudly. "Isn't he cute?" A small pink fuzzy creature lay nestled in her arms, enthusiastically snuffling at her neck with its elephantine nose. A bright blue tongue suddenly snaked out and licked Rayza's face from jaw to hairline. Lilipea had to admit that it was indeed cute, but she wasn't sure she really wanted to be aquainted with it. "It... made all those noises?" she asked hesitantly. "GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!" the creature responded. "Eeep!" "Rayza laughed. "Don't be scared, Lilipea," she said, rather patronisingly. "It's only a gvetch. A planteater." Lilipea nodded, trying to calm her racing heartbeat again. "But... those thumping sounds..." Rayza shifted her arms slightly so that Lilipea could see the single broad foot underneath the gvetch's body. "They jump," she explained. "They jump quite far, in fact. They scare off most predators with the roaring -- which also functions as a mating call -- and those they don't scare they run from. Jump from. Whatever." Lilipea blushed furiously. She'd made a fool out of herself, she realised, being so scared of that little thing. She shot it a resentful glare. It had made a fool out of *her*! "I think I'll call him Gambol," Rayza mused, gently setting the gvetch down. She glanced at Dale, now recovered from his oxygen deprivation. "I think I might join your party after all, cooking man. So, where next?" -- To be continued...